Is motherhood a blessing or a curse

The Hard Truth: Is Motherhood a Blessing or a Curse?

**By Selamawit Megersa**

When I first held my newborn, I thought I understood joy. I was officially a mother, and the love was overwhelming—a beautiful, pure thing. But that joy quickly ran headfirst into the **reality of motherhood**, and I want to share the version you don't see on social media.

### The Breakdown Behind the Bliss

Those first few months were brutal. It wasn't just the famous lack of sleep; it was the intense physical toll. The painful struggle with **breastfeeding**, the unexpected misery of **hemorrhoids**, and the relentless stream of **unsolicited comments** from everyone around me. Every choice I made—from how I fed the baby to how I slept—was suddenly open for public critique.

I was expected to be radiant, but I was quietly breaking. There were days I would spend **hours crying silently**, hiding in the closet or bathroom so my family wouldn't see the tears. I felt trapped in the gap between the blessed ideal of motherhood and the painful, messy truth of my own experience. I started asking myself, seriously: Is this a blessing, or is it a curse?

### My Life Within Four Walls

Now, the baby is growing, and the challenge has changed from physical healing to a spiritual one: the intense loneliness of being a **stay-at-home mom**. My world has shrunk to the size of my house, and I feel like I'm performing three full-time jobs at once:

1. **Mom:** The primary caregiver for a human who depends on me completely.

2. **Wife:** The one who is expected to maintain harmony and happiness with my husband.

3. **Homemaker:** The sole manager of a house that seems to clean itself only in movies.

Sometimes, my husband’s simple actions fill me with a deep, consuming anger because I feel like I carry the entire invisible load.

I look outside and see the life I had to leave behind. My friends are **graduating**, **traveling**, and **going out**. They are advancing their careers and their lives are expanding. Meanwhile, I am home with a crying baby, constantly trying to make my husband happy, and realizing **I cannot afford anything with my own money.** I have lost all sense of personal independence.

### Finding My Lifeline

I knew I couldn't keep this hidden pain inside. I needed an outlet, a way to breathe as myself again. That’s why I started making **TikToks**. It’s small, maybe even silly, but for those few minutes, I am just Selamawit. It has become my core coping method.

Beyond that, I am aggressively **looking for online jobs**. The hope of earning my own income and regaining some professional identity is the light I am chasing. So far, there has been nothing, but I refuse to give up.

### The Question We Need to Ask

So, I return to my original question for the women of World Plus: **Is having a baby a curse or a blessing for a woman?**

For me, it is the most beautiful, painful, and confusing paradox. I have a fierce, unimaginable love, but that love came with the steep price of losing my former identity, my independence, and my freedom.

I believe we need to be honest about this cost. To every mother reading this, have you felt this way? What did you do to find your footing again? I want to know how you balance the blessing with the burden.

***

*Please share your story in the comments below. Let's talk about the parts of motherhood that are usually kept silent.*