A PhD? Perhaps.

Application for Ronald E. McNair Scholars Program

Educational and Career Essay

2015-2016 Program Year

I. Why do you want to be a McNair Scholar?

As a first generation adult learner from a low-income background, much of myacademic career has been spent trying to survive in an educational environmentthat has historically provided inequitable access to a college education, to peopleof my social and economic background. This year, I was admitted into PSU’sTRIO Student Support Services Program. For the first time, I am experiencingeducation as it is experienced when one has access to educational resourcesand mentorship that support and encourage learning and continued academicdevelopment. For example, it was my TRIO advisor who referred me to theMcNair Scholars program. In applying to be a McNair Scholar, I am hoping todevelop a strong network of academic relationships that will offer me the supportand encouragement I need to continue investing in my education. Despite themany social and economic barriers to completing my undergraduate degree, I amvery close to graduation. This achievement has affirmed that the barriers I faceare surmountable, and that if my educational goals are to do academic researchand complete a PhD program, then I must self-advocate for the resources andrelationships that will support me in that effort.

II. Why do you want to complete a PhD?

My education is deeply personal and political. Additionally, it is an act of socialand emotional stewardship for the future generations of my lineage. My lifetrajectory has been profoundly influenced by my inherited socio-economic status,and the lack of access to social capitol that poverty imposes. My drive to becomeformally educated has had much to do with a desire to address and interrupt thetransmission of intergenerational poverty and the traumas associated with living in poverty. In alignment with my belief that education is the highest form ofhuman capitol, the completion of a PhD is my attempt to ensure that I am the lastgeneration in my lineage to endure the hardships of social inequality andinequity. In addition, I feel that I will bring significant insights and hard-wroughtlived experience to my area of research, bridging the gap that is often foundbetween academic theory and lived reality.

III. How does a PhD help you with your career goals?

A PhD offers me the qualification and educational experiences necessary to co-create educational programs for childhood development centers that servechildren who are at risk for exposure to the type of traumatic experiences thatoften lead to mental disorders later in life. Obtaining a PhD will also provide me apathway to teaching and conducting policy influencing research within anacademic setting. For my PhD work, I am considering: Public Affairs and PolicyPh.D. in the College of Urban & Public Affairs, Educational Leadership Doctoral(EdD) Program in the School of Education, and Ph.D. in Community Health fromthe College of Urban & Public Affairs: School of Community Health.

IV. Describe a potential topic or question you would like to explore for your McNair research project?

I'll be delving into early childhood trauma and the neuroscience behind the onsetof mental disorders later in life, with special attention paid to suicide. As the onlysurviving member of my nuclear family, the topic of mental illness and suicide, asthey intersect with poverty and trauma is deeply personal, and drives my interestin researching this topic. I would like to explore the burgeoning research inTrauma Informed Care, as well as Intergenerational and Developmental Traumato inform my theories on early childhood preventions. Those preventions being 1)exposure to and the development of a relationship with the natural world in earlychildhood 2) development of a place based identity. It would also be my effort toarticulate the connections between early childhood trauma, toxic stress, mentalillness, and a colonized society characterized by racism, poverty, and inequity.

V. What do you consider as your strengths and weaknesses?

I am challenged by my relationship with stress, but am experiencing asubstantial amount of growth and development in my ability to respond to stressin a more constructive way. As my understanding of neuroscience continues toevolve, I am increasingly aware of the way that my life experiences have shapedthe way that I engage with and respond to stress. It has taken incredible strengthto use these newfound understandings to engage in practices that encourage thedevelopment of new patterns and behaviors. Looking through the lens of socialdeterminants of health, I consider this awareness to be an incredibly valuablestrength not only for my own health and social mobility, but also for being able toeffectively work with and advocate for members of oppressed social groups.Reflecting on how I came to occupy my current social locale is bittersweet. To bean exception to national statistics, I have had to learn how to be resilient. I had todevelop a tenaciousness that allowed me to mobilize through the social sludgethat claims the lives of so many. Though far from easy, this work has allowed meto claim my life as my own, rather than a product of arbitrary social determinants.