A Ticket to Heaven?

Every year, countless girls are forced to leave their classrooms, their dreams unfinished. The number of girls dropping out of school is still much higher than boys, and this reality has always troubled me.

From my high school days until now, I have seen many girls leave their studies. I always wanted to prevent this. One of the biggest reasons I chose the teaching profession is to save as many girls as possible from dropping out. Through teaching, I can stay close to students, understand their problems, find the reasons behind their dropout, and try to help them continue their education. I can also guide them by talking to their guardians and advising them about what to do.

After finishing my honours degree, I had some free time. During that period, I used to help my daughter with her studies. Since she was too young to manage everything alone, I would go to school with her and stay there for almost three hours every day. There, I met a group of mothers, and we used to talk about different topics.

One day, we were discussing our past and our marriage stories. There were about fifteen of us, but unfortunately, only six were able to continue their studies after marriage. It made me realize that not everyone is that lucky. I had also observed during my honours and master’s studies that many students, especially girls, had to stop their education. In most cases, the reason was early marriage.

So, I began to understand that one of the main reasons for girls dropping out of school is early marriage. Then I started asking myself: Why do girls get married so early? How can we stop early marriage? And how can girls continue their education even after marriage?

I started socializing more than before. As I had some free time then, I joined social gatherings at my daughter’s school, participated in guardian groups, interacted in my neighbourhood, engaged in Facebook groups, and discussed these issues at my workplace.

Through these interactions, I discovered many reasons why parents marry off their daughters at a young age. Some do it because of financial crises—they cannot afford to support their daughters’ education. Some believe that it is risky to keep their daughters at home after they reach a certain age, so they arrange early marriages. Others do it due to social insecurity, thinking their daughters are not safe in their surroundings. Some parents also have misconceptions due to lack of education. They believe that marrying off their daughters early will protect their reputation and free them from social gossip. It often seems like marrying off a daughter is a solution to financial problems and social pressure, without thinking about what happens to her afterward.

One day, while talking with my colleagues, I had a conversation with a Hujur (a lecturer of Arabic). It was the beginning of my work life, so I wanted to understand my colleagues better and adjust myself to the environment. I asked him how many children he had. He replied that he had three—two daughters and one son. He also proudly added that his elder daughter was very talented and studying in an Islamic institution.

I then asked him what he wanted her to become in the future. His reply shocked me. He said that he only wanted to continue her studies until H.S.C., and then get her married. He added that if he could do that, his Jannah (Heaven) would be confirmed. (Some orthodox Muslims believe that if they can marry off their daughters while maintaining “purity,” they will attain Heaven.)

I was deeply surprised by what he said. I asked him again, what if his daughter wanted to study at a university—what would he do then? He replied that after her marriage, his responsibility would end. If her husband and in-laws allowed her, then she could continue her studies. However, he would try to ensure this before her marriage.

I felt very disappointed with his answer. I told him that a father is the most reliable and caring person in a daughter’s life. That is why he is often called her hero. How could he expect that someone else—who does not even know his daughter well—would support her dreams if he himself could not? Only a father can truly stand by his daughter and help her fulfill her ambitions. We never know what the future holds for her.

After hearing this, he became silent and did not say anything more.

Later, I spoke with other teachers and some guardians to understand their perspectives. Unfortunately, many of them shared similar views. However, I noticed that this mindset is gradually decreasing in urban areas. Most educated people do not believe that there is any connection between marrying off daughters early and attaining Heaven. They consider it a superstition or a form of blind faith.

Every year, many girls are forced to give up their dreams because of early marriage, even though they have so much potential. Some of them even lose their lives during childbirth, due to domestic violence, or for other painful reasons. When I think about all these realities, it deeply troubles me.

As a mother of two daughters, I know how valuable our daughters are. They are our whole world. How can we allow them to be sacrificed to such problems? Many parents never stop to think that educating their daughters could be a far more effective solution. If we educate them, we can turn them into strong and valuable individuals—our greatest assets.

Girls are often seen as weak and vulnerable, but in reality, they become powerful when we educate and support them.

Last year, one of my students faced the same situation. Her family wanted to get her married while she was in class nine. I tried my best to save her, with the help of our principal, but I couldn’t succeed. Fortunately, we were able to help her continue her studies even after marriage. Her husband was abroad and agreed to support her education. But not everyone is so supportive and understanding. How can we change this mentality?

Islam is a beautiful religion. It teaches us the path of justice and peace. It never supports injustice or the destruction of anyone’s dreams. However, sometimes people present it wrongly to others to fulfil their own demands. And many of us, without questioning, believe those interpretations blindly and end up doing injustice to our own lives and to the lives of our daughters.

So, we should not run after a “ticket to Heaven” by leaving our own loving daughters in a kind of hell. Rather, we should try to create a heaven like world for our daughters here on earth.