ARE YOU STRONG ENOUGH TO BUY A COFFIN. PART 1

On 16th January 2013 will remain vividly in my heart. I thank all strong pillars who stand with the weak and weary. Much appreciation to Ruth and Winnie for the work I can never reward them.

On the above mentioned day at 6:30 was the day I witnessed the painful departure of my only closest Friend, Husband and the father of my loving children,Faith, Victor and Innocent . Waiting patiently for the ambulance and the nurse to get ready for the long awaited to travel to Kenyatta National Hospital turned into a peaceful transition of Jose as we held hand of each other. He breath the last as I watched after a short prayer for a safe journey and his speedy healing toour capital city Nairobi at the expected topmost referral Hospital.

It was too hard to believe he was gone. I tried all my best to reverse what my thoughts were convincing me to accept. It took me one hour to accept." Please nurse come and check his temperature, the temperatures are too high. " The nurse rushed to his bed check on him his pulses in different positions and looks at me suspiciously. "Don't worry much , the temperatures will lower by itself in a while" and she goes back to her seat. Again I noticed his not moving as it usually does when he is sleeping. "Nurse please come and see check on the nose, it's not moving as usual." The nurse comes and before she leaves again I tell her to help me change his sleeping position it might course him not to breathe well. The nurse replied,"You continue trying to make him sleep in the position you want" Then she left again. I looked again at him and put my hand under his neck and stared at his face. The accident he was involved in made him paralysed on right side of the whole body. The mouth bend to the right, the right hand and leg were all feeble they couldn't do anything. No movement nor sense any touch. While I was staring at him. I personally witnessed the mouth moving to its normal position.He then raised his right hand stretched it I heard a sound of bones aligning and he brought it back by himself. Lastly he raised his right leg up aligned it again and breathe in. I can't remember him breathing out because his temperature burned my hand and I quickly removed my hand under his head and run to the nurse explaining how he has improved. The ambulance was now ready and oxygenator had been prepared incase anything happens on our way to Nairobi 306 kilometres away. The nurse came for the third time looking at him and just kept quiet. She then called the senior police officers that had accompanied me to her office. By that time I was busy applying dental sanitizer on his hands and legs. I didn't want anything like an infection to get him. When they come back, the nurse said, "Hello mum I can see you are very busy. Please May you give me some time to attend him please?" I agreed and stood by him bed side. He again checked the pulse in different areas and asked me whether I knew how to read. I easily answered yes happily because I had seen him moving all his body parts in the normal position.

What happened after left me surprised. She removed the fluid that was being transfused into his body. At the back of her hand she has a written sticker which she keenly fixed it on my husband's forehead. I didn't bother so much because I had just talked to the neurosurgeon at Kenyatta National hospital and he had given me instructions about how he should be carried in the ambulance. She then instructed the three police officers to bring me closer to the forehead side of the bed. That wasn't a big deal to me because I knew I was going to read the label that would help me identify him when we reach in Nairobi after the surgery. To my dismay, things fell apart suddenly. I was held on both sides and the nurse calmly told me to read the writing on the forehead of my husband. I started,Name,Joseph Mutinda, Date of admission 16th of January 2013, Date of d..,....,. I said noooo! The soft voice said, please just read it! My eyes had seen the word clearly but my heart was not ready to receive the reality. They all compelled me to read and finally I read the sentence ,Date of death 16th of January 2013. Then I remembered his last words before we left Kehancha hospital,"Judith my love, I have given you all my vital documents, if you let anybody take them away from you, you will be crying inside a toilet." I picked my bag hung on my shoulder and held it tightly and fainted. I came to my senses at 9:00 pm sleeping outside in the grass holding my bag and surrounded by police officers. I could not stand by myself. I tried several times but I couldn't they assisted me to stand up as I recollected myself. Suddenly I remembered we were to Nairobi in an ambulance with my husband. I quickly asked ,"where is the patient? "None replied. I tried to walk but I couldn't. I was so weak. I requested them to take me back to see my husband. They took me by my both hands and led to where his body was lying. I looked at him and remembered how I read the label. I cried uncontrollably for about thirty minutes. I had a soft voice silently whispering to me. I have given you everything rab my forehead until I sleep. Why are you crying I will fight for you. Some comfort came and I calmed down. I raised my hands up and said this words. "Thank you God for the eighteen years you gave to stay with Jose. If You have decided to take him away from me, it's well". I completed my thanks giving prayers and I left unbelievably now alone but accompanied by known but foreigners to my now new life and new name"WIDOW"

Life changed immediately. I had no one to lean on his shoulder. My children were young,I didn't know how to tell them. It was so terrifying. The following morning I came very early expecting positive changes. To my surprise, when I went to his bed, I found another newly admitted patient. I cried as I confirmed that is wasn't anymore a satire but the reality. Officially my Husband had gone for rever and left me alone with the children far away from home. " Jose though gone your love remains in my heart forever"