Being a mother

Today was my first trip since my daughter was born. I was very happy about this trip but also anxious because I haven't slept through the night since I was six months pregnant. Now, she is 1 year and 4 months old, which means I haven't slept all night since she was born.

I'm tired and feel that this break is necessary. But today, all I can feel is that I need to cry. When I left the house, she was sleeping, and I tried to call her father tonight to talk to her. But she started to cry, and we didn't get the chance to talk. Seeing her cry made me cry too. I was planning to use this opportunity to stop breastfeeding, but now I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do.

My heart is broken. I'm not traveling for leisure, but for work, and this made me think about what it means to be a mother.

We make decisions that we know are good and will have a big impact on our children's lives. However, some of these decisions break our hearts, and there's simply no way to avoid it.