Clothing Controversies: The Battle Over Women’s Dress

Hello, myself Maham. I am a school teacher and a student in Pakistan. Recently, I completed my graduation. I am very much attached to Islamic culture. I like to wear abaya and there was never any oppression on me. I like abaya so much that I feel proud when I wear it. I started wearing abaya at the age of 13 and I don't wear it because of any pressure; I wear it because I like it and it will never become a burden in my life.But five months ago, I completed my graduation and gave my last paper. Now I have decided that until my result comes, I have to do an internship somewhere. I completed my graduation in BS English but I like researching and I have completed 20+ online courses. I have many skills. I decided to start teaching in a private school. I went for an interview in the biggest school in our city. I wanted to join teaching because I thought in teaching there wouldn't be any issue related to dressing, but I think I was wrong.

I went to the interview wearing abaya and that day was my first interview ever. I was so worried, confused, and scared. That school was one of the best schools and they are very modern. I went there in abaya; at first, I was totally confused because their way of talking and everything was so unrealistic and they are so modern and when I was sitting there they were looking at me like I was an alien. I saw there were male staff, I was ready to work, but I saw the females without abaya and niqab, and then I researched and found out abaya was not allowed and it's not just here; it's the common practice in most private schools. No matter if you are working with male staff, they consider it unprofessional. In most private schools, it is considered unprofessional to wear abaya and niqab.

It was my first time working somewhere so I didn’t have much energy to survive without abaya. I thought I had come here to learn, but if I had to work without abaya, it would make me uncomfortable and I couldn't focus on work because I really respect my abaya. If women cover their body and face in front of men, it's a great blessing of Allah and I have sincerely practiced it for 9 years. I love it and I feel secure, so I thought it was not possible for me. So, I decided not to work here.

Most of my friends, family members, and teachers said, "𝗣𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗹! 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗮 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝗼𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘁𝘆," but at that time, what I was thinking was whether it is right to remove your abaya and to forget your peace just to earn some money. After that, will I live peacefully? So, I decided to choose my peace and comfort, so I never joined that job.

Then I started looking for a job in a school where abaya was allowed or a place where only females work so that I could get my first experience peacefully. Because I want to start with peace, and taking off abaya in front of male staff was really an unpeaceful thing for me. Because I want to start with peace, working without an abaya with male colleagues feels very uncomfortable for me.Fortunately, one day I submitted my CV on an online platform and I got calls from 6 private schools. I joined a school although the salary was very low even though I am teaching English to matric classes. I joined this school because of their polite and humble behavior and one thing that impressed me was that they respect your education and your struggle.But in the previous interview, one thing lacking was that they insulted your education and made you feel like a beggar who came here to beg for a job a poor treatment. So now I have joined that school. The nicest person is the principal of school whose way of talking is so nice.I joined this school just because here no male staff work; all your colleagues are female and some males who sit in the office are on the ground floor, so they have no connection with the upper portion.When I came here first, it was good; I was wearing abaya and I was happy because I thought abaya was allowed in that school. But on the second day, the school vice principal, a female (not the principal), called me to the office and said, "𝗠𝗮𝗵𝗮𝗺, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗮𝗱𝗹𝘆, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗹𝘆 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗼𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗼𝘄 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗮𝘆𝗮. 𝗦𝗲𝗲, 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗮𝗯𝗮𝘆𝗮."

I found this school where only females work with so much struggle. So I don’t want to do anything to lose the job. I am not working for money or anything; I just want to get experience and here I think I will get the best experience because according to the Pakistan board this is considered a top school. So I thought it’s ok; only females work so I can wear shalwar kameez. But in my heart, I really feel ashamed because everyone has their own priorities, so just because I am helpless in front of them, I decided this and I am feeling sad for all females who work to fulfill their needs how painful this is for them. Because I don't want to lose the job and here only females work, so I wear shalwar kameez here. But daily, the vice principal gives lectures in the assembly to girl students that they should wear abaya, why abaya is important, and that it protects you. She also tells us to tell girls to buy abaya. I don’t understand this double game. Why when your teachers are wearing abaya, you say it’s not important and you don’t have to wear abaya because it doesn’t look good or it’s unprofessional, but at the same time, you tell your teachers to tell girls the importance of abaya?

I feel ashamed to tell girls this because I am without abaya and it is really painful and hurtful for me. I know some people say it’s not a big deal but sometimes some things are not just cultural; they are attached to our hearts. What should I tell girls? You wear abaya for 22 years but when you get a job somewhere, you remove your abaya because abaya is not allowed in the workplace. I am feeling this pain.

Now it’s not just the matter of school; it’s the matter of most other private companies that say girls don’t wear abaya and don’t cover their face. It’s a controversial dressing system. Like from childhood to graduation, you teach girls the importance of abaya, but after completing their education, when they join any workplace, you teach them not to wear it.

On a daily basis, social media influencers( especially tik tokers) are killed and many men congratulate in comments that this girl was spreading vulgarity in our country, this girl was showing her face, and this girl was without abaya on TikTok. But I never see the same people raise their voice in the workplace when they see the boss, vice principal, HR, and others telling women to remove abaya and niqab. They remain silent.

It’s a big controversy. If women wear abaya in the workplace, they are old-fashioned, and shalwar kameez and pant shirts are professionalism. But if they are outside or on social media, instead of abaya, they wear pant shirts or shalwar kameez without head cover, they are characterless and spreading vulgarity.

I don’t understand this double game. Many women are working in their workplaces just because some want to get experience like me and some want to get money because they have no other options for survival. So, to fulfill demands, when they decide about their dress, what to wear and what not to wear, it hurts them so much that they don’t even explain to anyone.Because they are treated like dolls who are told what to wear, and if they go outside or on social media, cowardly people kill them by saying they are misleading the generation. But why do these coward people remain silent in front of the boss because of the job?

𝗜 𝗮𝗺 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘃𝘂𝗹𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗺𝗲𝗱𝗶𝗮; I am just saying I think you have to raise your voice in the workplace because social media women don’t need this preaching but the girls who are working in any office just to fulfill their dreams, just to fulfill their family needs, and just to survive, those girls need your voice in that place. You should say to your boss, "Sir, who are you to tell her to remove abaya?" This is courage. This is not courage: a man kills a TikToker and you people come to the comments section and say very good, she deserved it, she was spreading vulgarity. Oh really?

I think first people should sit and think what exactly women should wear because in abaya she is old-fashioned and unprofessional, in shalwar kameez she is without dupatta, in pant shirt she is inappropriate, and on TikTok or social media she is characterless. Why? Why? Why? What exactly should she do?

I think this is the biggest question now because in this, most women lose their dreams because they feel more peaceful to drop their dreams instead of taking instructions on what to wear, what to remove, and what to do. They prefer to give up their dreams instead of involving in any controversy.It's not just my story; it's the story of millions of women. I have the option to leave things whenever they get worse because I am working just to get experience. But what about those girls who are working to fulfill their needs and to help their family, and whose whole family is living on their salary? I think I can quit because I have options, but those women don't have options.