Confession: How I Got Addicted To My Sisters’ Biz

If you are like me, it’s most likely that you love minding your business. Why should we not when we have so much to chew already? Why should we have more on our plates? Several years ago, a young couple moved in next door. They had two lovely children. However, since the woman was formally unemployed then, when her husband went to work, she got busy with domestic duties and chattering with whoever was available. We said hello to each other almost every day, though I frowned at the loud music blaring from their apartment. Often, I noticed the lady who could have passed for a beauty queen, had a black eye or a visible fresh wound on my way to or from work. When I asked what the problem was, she usually gave a logical reason which waved the matter aside. Little did I know that her good-looking but abusive husband was to blame.

One day, I said hi to her on my way to work since her front corridor was visible from mine, and she often sat there to enjoy our street view but noticeably, she completely snubbed me. Rather than walk away, I repeated my greeting to confirm my observation. Then, she poured out her disappointment of not being rescued from her partner even when she screamed in agony as he beat her mercilessly while the music blared from their home the night before. Sincerely, I did not hear her screams beneath the loud music. It just did not cross my mind that the handsome, quiet-looking man could be abusive. I later learnt that he even raped her as well, calling her a whore and other uncomplimentary names severally. Whatever or whoever was the cause of their constant fight, I never knew, except that two lovers should not get into a physical fight for any reason. Thankfully, we eventually moved out of that neighbourhood and this woman and her hubby parted ways shortly after.

That incident was one of the many that fuelled my passion for gender-based advocacy. Over the years, I have observed many women in a similar or worse relationship than my former neighbour. They look admirable as a couple, but the battered woman is just putting up a front, unfortunately making excuses for her abusive husband for cultural or societal reasons. Verified reports state that many women suffer in silence for fear of backlash from society. Religious bodies seem to have supported abuse tacitly through tolerance and perseverance messages. Civil authorities have not helped the situation either, as most reported cases are either watered down or swept under the carpet. However, how long would we keep mute? How long would we be silent? As observers, many of us would prefer to mind our businesses, as it is not ideal to interfere in other people’s private affairs. Unfortunately, our silence may be causing irreparable harm. It’s time to be more sensitive. Let's continue to raise our voices against all forms of abuse. Listen or look closely- can you hear, see or feel a sister wailing beneath the loud music?

Unfortunately, our silence may be causing irreparable harm. It’s time to be more sensitive. Let's continue to raise our voices against all forms of abuse. Listen or look closely- can you hear, see or feel a sister wailing beneath the loud music?