Double Standards, Double Tragedy

For the past two weeks, I’ve read countless stories from women sharing their experiences with gender-based violence (GBV). As I absorbed their pain, I found myself lost for words. I’ve seen it. I’ve felt it. I’ve been angered by it.

Women are being murdered for mistakes society excuses in men. The comment sections are a cesspool of victim-blaming, where instead of holding perpetrators accountable, people shame the women. I’ve witnessed economic and emotional abuse disguised as love, and oppression masked as tradition.

People claim women are empowered. But if we are still excluded from the conversations that matter—if decisions are made for us, not with us—then how can we call that empowerment? Every day, the fight for emancipation is chipped away, leaving women to carry the burden of injustice alone.

Dismissed Lives, Ignored Cries

Across the country, there’s a chilling rise in the murder of young women. Yet these cases are dismissed instead of being recognized as femicide. It’s as though the matter isn’t grave enough for those in power to take action.

Online, instead of calling out the perpetrators, people flood comment sections with harmful advice, blaming women for their choices. "Stop loving money." "Pick better partners." These narratives shift responsibility from the abuser to the victim.

Consider the story of a man who burned his wife alive over allegations of infidelity. Meanwhile, society tolerates his own extramarital affairs, dismissing them with the excuse that "men are naturally polygamous."

This double standard is a tragedy. A murderer is a murderer. An abuser is an abuser. There is no justification, no excuse, and no moral defense.

No "Buts" in the Fight Against GBV

As women, we must refuse to remain silent. We must speak out against GBV with courage and conviction. No woman deserves to be harmed.

It starts with us. Let’s raise our sons to respect women. Let’s teach them that violence, in any form, is unacceptable. Let’s refuse to laugh at degrading jokes about women, no matter how harmless they seem.

We must also reject conditional condemnations—statements like, "This is wrong, but…" or "I don’t support this, but…" They have no place in this fight. Never add a "but" to a statement defending a victim. To do so is to undermine their humanity.

A Culture of Hypocrisy

I have seen men celebrated for slapping their partners over rumors of cheating while being praised as "legends" for having multiple affairs. The hypocrisy is staggering, and it must stop.

Change begins when we amplify our voices, when we hold perpetrators accountable, and when we reject the culture that enables violence.

Our Voices Matter

When you speak out against GBV, you’re not just protecting yourself—you’re fighting for the generations of women who will come after you. Silence allows violence to thrive.

So speak up. Even if it’s just two sentences, take a stand. Together, our voices can shatter the silence and expose the double standards for what they truly are: a tragedy that must end.