"For me, peace is making motherhood beautiful.

Motherhood is a wonderful feeling. Luckily, I have experienced this beautiful feeling two times.

I had a miscarriage during my first pregnancy. Then, after six months of my miscarriage, I got pregnant again with my elder daughter. But for some complexities, I had to give birth to her at a premature age (during the eighth month). She had to face severe difficulties because of her premature birth.

After seven years, I got pregnant again, and this time I gave birth to my second daughter. Her (my second daughter’s) skin tone is dark. During all of my pregnancy periods, I had to face so many hardships and bear so many toxic women around me — for the miscarriage, the illness of my elder daughter, the dark colour of my little daughter, and mostly for not having any son.

I think peace grows when mothers are free from superstition and fear.

I experienced miscarriage during my first pregnancy when I was seventeen. I didn’t know much about motherhood then. I was in pain and very afraid. Even in this situation, some women from my in-laws’ side told me that “having miscarriage at first pregnancy is inauspicious.” Others frightened me by saying, “when someone has a miscarriage at her first pregnancy, she probably cannot conceive again.”

I was so devastated and suffered mental problems thinking that I might not be able to become a mother. But fortunately, my husband always supported me and told me not to pay heed to them. He also assured me that there is no truth in what they were saying.

When my elder daughter was born, she was seriously ill. She could not suck milk and cried almost all day. Doctors applied all primary treatments they usually give to a premature child, but nothing worked. We had to cover her with cotton pads all the time. On the fourth day of her birth, her condition worsened, and we almost lost hope that she could survive.

Then doctors shifted her to the C.C.U (Critical Care Unit). We got her tested and found severe infections in her urine and blood. Finally, by the grace of Almighty God, she survived after fifteen days of struggle.

During that time, I was told that it happened because of me — that I didn’t follow the rules they told me. They also said, “your daughter might not survive,” “this kind of child may become disabled or autistic,” “there are some problems in the mother, that’s why the child suffers.”

They didn’t understand that this kind of behavior could deeply affect a new mother. She was also born as a skew-eyed child, and I was criticized for that too — mostly by the same women who themselves were mothers.

When my family members knew that I was going to give birth to a daughter again, they became sad. Some of my in-laws expected a son, so she was not welcomed happily. Sometimes, I felt that she was less liked or pitied because of her skin tone.

I was blamed again — this time for not having a son and for my daughter’s skin tone. Now, I am even being pressurized to have another child to get a son. But my husband is so understanding that he told his mother not to mention it again infront of me. He also told that we are happy with our daughters. Besides, we don't need and mostly can't afford another child.

Not every mother is this lucky in having such an understanding husband. This above circumstances affect mothers very deeply. These are usual incidents in many rural areas of countries in Africa and Asia. It breaks the confidence of mothers, and the consequences can be more fatal.

Through my experiences, I strongly realize that these accusations towards mothers must be stopped. These are not their fault at all. Mothers have to be strong, confident, and courageous to defeat such negativity.

I also think that family members should gather knowledge, awareness, and education regarding childbirth and taking care of mothers. Whenever I confront incidents like these, I try to convince women not to blame mothers and to be gentle towards them.

In the last three years (2022–2025), I have motivated at least five mothers in my locality and among my relatives to have patience during pregnancy, keep themselves happy, and not take such hurtful comments seriously. Later, they told me that my counseling helped them a lot — and this gave me so much peace.

I want to seek the attention of the leaders of the world regarding this issue. If they could arrange more offline workshops, seminars, and programs to increase awareness about the mental health of mothers, proper childcare, and avoiding superstitions, it would make a big difference.

Online initiatives don’t help much in this case because most women are uneducated or less educated and don’t know how to use smartphones or attend online programs.

Governments and organizations can also provide small funds to local changemakers to arrange seminars for this purpose. Actually, funding is not mandatory — our good intentions and strong willpower are what matter the most.

Through these workshops, we can help people realize that to a mother, her child is the most precious asset in the world, and she never wants them to get hurt. So, stop accusing mothers — and support them more.

Peace doesn’t mean the lack of struggles or duels, it is the combination of awareness, love, support, care, values, and respect.

When a mother finds peace within herself, her whole world becomes brighter. A happy and confident mother can bring harmony to her family and community as well.

Every mother like me is looking for care and support during the pregnancy period — and to me,"peace truly means making motherhood beautiful. "