From Resistance to Redirection - The Power of Choosing What You Focus On

Inspired by Amb. Maryben Omollo's post on Facebook, 22 July 2020 

Mental Health & Leadership Coach | 50M+ Global Reach | 17x Award-Winning Speaker | Founder, Maryben Foundation

The Hidden Cost of Resistance

In life, we often find ourselves resisting what we don’t want — stress, conflict, failure, or negativity. We push back, complain, and dwell on what’s wrong, believing that resistance is a form of strength. But Ambassador Maryben Omollo offers a different perspective: resistance can actually give more power to the very things we wish to avoid. Her insight is both simple and transformative: instead of resisting what you don’t want, focus on creating and reinforcing what you do want. This shift in mindset can change how we experience challenges and how we shape our lives.

The Paradox of Resistance

When we actively resist something — whether it’s a recurring frustration, a toxic relationship, or a personal weakness — we often give it more mental and emotional energy. We replay it in our minds, talk about it constantly, and allow it to shape our mood and behaviour. Maryben explains that this kind of resistance doesn’t weaken the problem — it strengthens it. It makes the undesirable more prominent in our lives. The more we focus on what we dislike, the more space it occupies in our thoughts and emotions.

The Power of Redirection

Rather than resisting what’s wrong, Maryben encourages us to redirect our energy toward what’s right. This doesn’t mean ignoring problems or pretending they don’t exist. It means choosing to focus on solutions, values, and actions that align with what we truly want. For example, instead of being upset by someone’s negativity, choose to embody positivity. Instead of dwelling on failure, focus on learning and growth. Instead of resisting fear, cultivate courage. This redirection is not passive — it’s powerful. It puts you back in control of your mindset and your emotional energy.

A Practical Exercise in Reframing

Maryben offers a simple yet profound exercise:

1. Identify one thing that consistently upsets you.
2. It could be a behaviour, a situation, or even a recurring thought.
3. Decide that you will no longer allow it to upset you.
4. This doesn’t mean you approve of it — it means you’re choosing not to give it power over your peace.
5. Replace the upset with inspired action.
6. Ask yourself: What can I do that reflects the outcome I want? How can I respond in a way that aligns with my values?

This practice builds emotional resilience and helps you become more intentional in how you respond to life’s challenges.

The Emotional Economy of Attention

Maryben teaches that our attention is like currency. Whatever we invest in grows. If we spend it on anger, fear, or frustration, those emotions expand. But if we invest it in hope, gratitude, and purpose, those qualities begin to shape our reality. This is not about toxic positivity or avoiding hard truths. It’s about choosing where to place your energy so that you can live with more clarity, strength, and peace.

Reflection - What Are You Feeding?

Take a moment to reflect:

• What situation or emotion have you been resisting lately?
• How much energy have you given it — and what has it cost you?
• What would it look like to stop resisting and start redirecting?
• What positive action could you take today that reflects what you truly want?

Maryben’s message invites us to stop fighting shadows and start building light. Because what we focus on, we empower.

Lesson - Choose Your Focus, Shape Your Life

The core lesson in Maryben’s message is this: You have the power to choose what you focus on — and that choice shapes your experience. When you stop resisting what you don’t want and start creating what you do want, you reclaim your agency. You stop reacting and start responding. You stop surviving and start thriving. This shift doesn’t require perfection — just awareness and intention.

From Reaction to Creation

Amb. Maryben Omollo’s wisdom is a call to live more consciously. In a world full of distractions, frustrations, and noise, she reminds us that we are not powerless. We are creators of our inner world — and by extension, our outer experience.

“When you actively resist what is undesirable, you unwittingly make it more prominent and powerful. Rather than resisting what you don’t want, replace it with what you do want. Think of one thing that normally upsets you whenever it happens. Then decide that you’ll no longer be upset by it, and will instead be inspired to take positive action.”

This is not just a mindset — it’s a movement. A movement toward emotional freedom, intentional living, and empowered leadership. So the next time something upsets you, pause. Breathe.

And ask: What do I want to create instead?