Help

I am 19years old … I have a mother that I am not comfortable with speaking about anything . This brings me anxiety and sometimes I am not sure how I feel about situations . I told her that I have a boyfriend and all she said was that she knew about it .. However we never spoke about it after … I lie everytime I go to see him because I know she will continuously say no . It’s been an entire year and I’ve grown tired .. I thought that if I start working and being independent that thinggs would be different but they are the same.. if she says no I have to listen.. I have always wanted to move out at 18 but I was still going to school at that time . I want to move out now so that I can gain a little more independence but that she says I can’t do. Her sister says that I just want my own way and that I am supposed to stay to help my mother . This gives me more anxiety and stress, I overthink a lot ..I don’t know what to do. Help!