HIDDEN SHADOWS OF PAINBREAKING THE SILENCE AGAINST GBV

HIDDEN SHADOWS OF PAINBREAKING THE SILENCE AGAINST GBVPain as we know it comes in various forms and so inflict us differently,At times we resort not to show it facially because the society is not ready to help or render a hand,At times we resort to cry not publicly but in secret because only the self understands more,At times we only think of ending our own life because the remedy to pain is distant,This is our society today.Who shall I run to? Who will help me? Who will offer a shoulder to lean on? Who will listen to my story and not judge me? These and many more are the questions of that girl, lady or woman trying to hide the shadows of pain. The journey of life has proven the existence of two worlds in most Zambian homes. There is a world of a daughter who wants to be as free as a bird but keeps her silence so that her mother is happy and so that her life is not publicly miserable. She decides to hide the pain. The other world is of a mother who bares everything so that her children are happy and so that she lives a decent life in the eyes of the people. The sad reality is that even fathers who were once protectors of their daughters have become rapists instead of heroes. You can’t live the daughter with father without worry and full trust of the safety of the daughter. Male children who are supposed to be warriors are now using their wives’ bodies as punching bags and not finding time for mutual conversations and normal solutions to misunderstandings in marriages. But what should a girl do? Who will be ready to hear her story? Gender based violence has now become a deadly pandemic for most Zambian girls and woman. It has become a poison which has infected most Zambian boys and men. It has crept into homes, hearts and minds of the female individuals leaving scars that bleeds, scars that never heal because there is no solution.DEATH WITHIN (Ukufwila Mukati) which is famously known as SHIPIKISHA club is now a cornerstone upon which every Zambian girl and woman lean unto, it is the only force that drives them to see tomorrow.The sad part is that no one sees how much a girl suffers. She is born, comes into the world and is forced to behave in a way that pleases society to suit it demands, if she does the opposite then she is not worthy of female life. Additionally, she has to endure period pain every month as a natural cause. When she becomes a teen, some surrounding people start body shaming her. At the end of the day she is scared to mingle with her friends and when she reaches adulthood the society questions her about marriage because the society clock limits the age one must get married. When she finds a man to marry she leaves her father’s house starts a new life with her partner and now she has to become a mother gets pregnant carries a whole human in her womb yet she is not protected, loved, cared for and respected. When she’s beaten her mother tells her to be strong because a man who loves his wife beats her. So yes she stays and become part and parcel of the Shipikisha clubBut this society has to be burnt down, this shipikisha club has to be wiped away. Is it because some children have grown up in a violent home that they are bitter? Is it because some men witnessed their mothers been beaten by their fathers that they have also resorted to beating their wives because that’s the only way their parents used to resolve issues and so they think it’s the normal way?.A lot is going on in this society, men needs to be counselled, they have to be taught and shown the right way to resolve issues with their spouse because violence is not a way to go. They need to be taught about the dignity of the female person, and what love truly is. This is because someone you claim to love, you cannot do harm to them or wish them bad, if love is truly love it must not fade away because of a misunderstanding. In as much as the government and most NGO’s have empowered many young women, Gender Based Violence has not stopped. The only way this is going to stop is if both men and women are emotionally and psychologically empowered. Most men should be empowered by counselling and teaching them ways of treating women. Women have to be empowered with skills so that they do not only relay on their husbands as source of income. They should also be empowered with knowledge on how to handle issues in their homes because it is at times the way women respond to men that men tend to be violent.Everyone should be healed everyone should be counselled everyone should be empowered Together we can end Gender Based Violence. Together we can expose the hidden shadows of pain.Together we can provide love, warmth and support to the victims of GBV. WRITTEN BY;MUBANGA MWANSA