If I die today

If I die today 

know me 

I fought fights I'd already won by witnessing them 

I saw loss by turning away from my reflection 

and gain by facing myself 

I wept and laughed with what I had at the time 

and gave even when I had nothing 

I lived and so I know death is coming 

If I die today

read me 

I used your apathy as blood in my pen and wrote freely, easily 

I read sacred text in everything

and fought the urge to mask truth in the words

I stained them with my love like the lover who refuses to leave 

though at times it pained me to be exposed

I wrote 

If I die today

remember me 

only fools of love remember a mirage made by their own stories 

If I die today 

find me 

in the screaming crow on the treetop outside your window 

even when all you want to do is ignore the sound of your beating heart 

If I die today 

live for me 

in the silent moments of clarity where abandon is your only companion 

If I die today 

set the devil inside you free 

If I die today 

notice me 

and throw flower petals on the shroud you couldn't see from the screens of your living facade 

Laa'iqah Ebrahim