infertility awareness

Infertility awareness

I want to talk about the unspoken problem today. While there are actually many unspoken problems that affect women, the one I am referring to is infertility. That one causes so many emotions and reactions. For the women and men going through it, it is a word that basically says, "your life is not going to go the way you planned". For the women, it is especially hard. Women are often seen as "mothers" and "caregivers". Women who cannot have children or cannot have children without great difficulty often end up questioning who they are as a woman and person. I blame us for that feeling. By us I mean everyone who has acted like an idiot when the issue of infertility comes up. We stay silent and let the person suffer in pain. Or we come up with the ever so popular "you could adopt" "you do not know you might get pregnant" "maybe you just were not meant to have kids" "you can get a lot of pets". As someone who suffers from endometriosis and could be infertile, let me say those things do not help. Infertility is not a quick fix solution that can be solved by one answer. If it was, women and men would not be struggling with it all their lives.

1.First of all, let us understand that we will NEVER really understand what it is like to go through infertility unless we have traveled that road ourselves. That is not to say we cannot learn and be enlightened about infertility, but to say "I understand" is bullshit because we really do not.
2. Be an open ear and shoulder. Let people you know who are dealing with infertility feel comfortable talking to you. Do not try to give solutions, because there is not any to give. Sometimes people just need to talk and to know that someone cares.
3. Ask how you can help. Do not assume you know anything, because in reality you probably do not.
4. Remember that infertility does not define someone and still treat them as a friend. Someone going through infertility is going through enough, they do not need to be treated differently by their family and friends.
5. Get involved, get educated, get active. Find out what you can do to raise infertility awareness. Whether its blogging, reading articles, tweeting, or just talking about it. Follow blogs and organizations about infertility, there is much to learn. Get active by singing petitions and organizing groups and become start making some changes in the health care industry.
6. Most of all, be willing to admit that there is a lot you have to learn and become aware of.
*in the interest of full disclosure, my post was inspired by another person's blog. The author is totally kick ass and knows a lot. Follow her if you want to get educated. *