Introducing myself and my journal: my life as i see it

About Me:
my name is Tori and i am 34 years old. i have two children a son who is 14 that i just starting to speak to since 8yrs. a 10 year old daughter who name is milagros. i really don't know what to say, maybe later i will. i'm looking for a different road i know that's out there in life. somewhere where its good people and clean streets, good schools and supportive friends. ''somwhere where i know my vision for life wont evaporate, where my visions are strong and i know what i want from my life. somewhere where i know GOD can hear me cause its so many people crying out to him, i dont want to be selfish i just know he has other people in front of me. somewhere where i can bring TORI back..cause i feel like shes gone..i know im smart i know i can change. i know i've done some wrong but its only survival. its a crime to steal, i had to survive. i live in the hood. im 34 yrs old and i feel like im stuck at 15..did i go backwards i know im grown. whats going on. it seem like my life will always be the same up and down up and down up and down...i came from a long road, i done put other people and family before me, i took care of some things and people, i also cried plenty of nites. i cant get back in school cause i chose family first, i can do hair and nails and design clothing take photos be a personal assistant, style you be a successful women in those fields but thats not what i want to do. i want to accomplish a GOAL, i dont know it yet but it will come, i want to feel as though my life wasnt wasted being in a tenament building cooking out in the park, waiting for WELFARE to decide if theyre gonna feed me this month. smh listening to shots ambulance and police cars all nite or the ordinary things in the hood. i want to prove to my self and the non believers that i MADE IT! and when all they could say to me was nothing or look down at me for surviving. I MADE IT i am someone and i will survive. a strong black and hispanic women with all of everything in her mind.i just need to figure out what it is i really want to do

My Passions:
fashion, design

My Challenges:
believing in me

My Vision for the Future:
career, married to a NBA player, house, BIG FAMILY

My Areas of Expertise:
i dont know