Keeping up with status is ruining women

YESTERDAY I was informed of a young woman badly beaten by her husband. Guess who rang me? The man's friend - a man. Take it serious when a friend of a man tells you anything bad about his fellow...

I am sick and tired of women sticking with men who abuse them, in the name of keeping their marital status. If you are one of them, listen my sister; life has no spare part. Tell me if you are mentally healthy in that relationship?! Tell me if you are happy living right there? Tell me if you are the same person as the young lady you were before you met him... Tell me if that ungly treatment is a reflection of LOVE... tell me...

A dear sister here in WP commented on my facebook post yesterday "“But I love him.” In my experience this is the first thing women will say. My advice, is always to Leave, be Safe. Then when you are safe you can sort out your feelings and emotions.  Her life matters and her children’s safety, if she has children. Get her to safety. Then counseling."" I agree with you Aimee!

I can't tell you how violent my own father was (RIP)...as a child, we slept in the bush countless times with my mother. Even as a little girl, seeing my father hit her with logs, boxing her, stepping on her not once not twice but like forever broke my heart. If I were grown up and educated a bit, like now, I would have saved my mother the so many wounds and scars she has on her body, face and lost  tooth.

I faced violence myself, I was stupid enough to endure for a little while but I am so glad I woke up earlier (with a masters degree of one beautiful baby girl - now 10 years old). I wouldn't have quit with him if I had to obey my mother's relationship principles forever. She always told me he would change and this took me over 10 times of quitting and getting back....his tears were like a river whenever he wanted me back... It took extra people and extra efforts...breaking my mother's rules and listening to more people who gave me more courage and more reasons to quit... 2011 to-date I am a better person. No one has kicked me since then, no one comes home drunk (the scent of a room..)...no one calls me trash... can't exhaust....

If this blog sounds appealing to you, woman living in a troubled relationship then know it's about time... If I remained in that relationship and got HIV or so, my daughter - an innocent child would be suffering the consequences she did not call for.

In 2012, my niece was murdered by her boyfriend. She was in her final year, final semester at the University, the boyfriend used her tuition fees, she complained and that led to her death. Do you now understand why I am getting mad in this article?

Do people give names to women who quit relationships and marriages in your communities? Do you worry about what people will say about you once you quit that guy? Are you worried about how you will care for those children single handedly?  Aha...people's words are not equal to your life, your health is the most important, those children will be supported as long as you reach out to the right people trust me. In fact your children are living in danger, right there. God cares about you, your children, everyday but he (God) won't come fix your situation, he can only wisper to your heart!!!

Quit, quit, quit!!! Such men do not change. Even if you pray, trust me...I believe in the power of prayers but cheating husbands, wife beaters; are forever the same, until they get HIV or so... they get humble when they are helpless, when they get back up....you will tell me.

PS. I lost all my 7 brothers and 1 sister to HIV/AIDS. I am not writing to judge anyone, talking out of experience. Hurting for the hurting