“Men don’t care about looks, women are so obsessed” 🤦‍♀️

Alas, another commentary is on the way. This time on r/dating. Holy fuck, this is going to be a doozy. Anyway, let’s see what this guy has to say:

”Not sure why society thinks men are so caught up over looks and obsesed with looks but in the real world men don't care about looks like that/ I know many attractive and successful men with average looking partners.”

For one thing, the manosphere has taught men that looks do matter for some reason. If you actually didn’t care about looks, then you wouldn’t be saying things like “average-looking”. Young men are taught at an early age to objectify women, so it’s obvious that pretty privilege and bias is becoming a serious issue. From your perspective, you haven’t fallen into the lies of incel logic, at least so far from what I’m reading.

”in the real world men aren't dating super models. my own brother told me that extremely attractive women are too much stress, taking 6 hours to do their makeup and hair, he said he would take an average woman who doesn't cause stress and chaos.”

Why are you insisting the supermodel is at fault just because she is simply going through the expectations that every attractive woman has to follow? Also, not every attractive woman takes 6 hours to do hair and makeup. Just because one woman does doesn’t mean all hot women are like that. And finally, why are you insisting that waiting for a woman to do makeup causes “chaos”? Do you not understand the stress of being a woman who has to go through this?

”my advice to the women : stop obsessing over your looks, men will marry you if you bring them peace. that's all they really care about.”

Women are NOT obsessing their looks, we are simply just doing what we were taught at a young age. It’s funny how you think all men want is peace, yet if you actually WANT peace, then why are you going after women?

Are you also insisting that women only want drama wherever we go? Let me ask you men something, if you truly DON’T care about looks, at all, then why do we see a list saying you expect a skinny blonde girl who always says “yes daddy”? The main reason you men think women are obsessed with looks is because we were frequently body shamed by the patriarchy and told we will only be loved if we’re skinny/pretty enough. There’s a good reason why there are far more women with eating disorders compared to men!

Finally, what do you mean by peace? Is that all you men talk about when it comes to women? Women want peace too, we are just as human as you are. And if you think that we are lesser and should be treated as such, you have another thing coming!

”As long as your hyigene is clean and your clothes are clean i wouldn't worry about looking like a top supermodel. You also don't need to be rail thin.”

It’s funny how you say men don’t care about looks and then ramble on about this. Like, no fucking shit, Sherlock! You expect us to bring good hygiene and clean clothes to the table? Okay then. Are you willing to offer us the same thing from you? What’s wrong? You mad?

”my brother is a conventionally attractive man, his girlfriend is on the heavier sign. so women don't worry about having the perfect body, i promise men don't care about all that the way you think they do. They just want a good woman who will be there for them”

First of all, you don’t speak for all men. Second, calling a plus sized woman “on the heavier side” is fatphobic. Third, I know you mean well, but you need to acknowledge some of us women have had horrible experiences with men who hold much different standards than you do. Our self-esteem has already been formed in the way that you lack the understanding of. Don’t act like we don’t know about being a good woman!

If you want to be a good man, you must learn to understand a woman’s personal struggles and empathize with them. Sadly, most men I know tend to fail that part. You’re begging us over your standards yet you fail to acknowledge ours.

Now here are some of the comments:

”I don't think I'm shallow, but I would not date a woman that I don't find attractive. But you are right about not having to be a supermodel.”

I don’t think I’m shallow. I just hate ugly women. True definition of shallow.

”A lot of this comes from peer pressure particularly from other men. That feeling of being embarrassed when you have someone on your arm who is less conventionally attractive than you. Why people care I don’t really know, as long as you find them hot it matters not.”

Why is it that when women care about looks, we’re being hysterical, yet when men do the same, they’ll deny it and claim they have “standards”?

”I do care about looks. Not that she needs to be perfect but:

• I expect a normal body weight.
• I need something that gives me a spark. That can be a cute smile or something else
• No way she can be unattractive. Even if she has the greatest personality, I need to feel attracted.

Perhaps this can sound shallow, but that is the way I work and i havent been able to change that. A woman with a great body (10/10) but with a shitty personality, i also wouldnt date her.”

Well, at least he admitted it. And he also admitted that nice “ugly” women are awful. Just say you hate women and stay single. No one’s stopping you.

Well, there you have it. That’s my take on the post. And my advice to all the men reading this: stop acting like fucking hypocrites, stop saying you don’t care about looks when you actually do! And finally, either you learn to place yourselves in women’s shoes, or get the fuck out!