MENTAL HEALTH IS NON-NEGOTIABLE

A few days ago, I finally caught up with some close friends for a long-overdue dinner at our favorite go-to restaurant. With my thyroid surgery to be scheduled in the coming days, I wanted us to reconnect — a quiet moment of grounding before life throws in the next twist.

Interestingly, for the first time in a long while, we had leftovers. We used to “devour” the same order effortlessly, but this time, the half-eaten dishes felt symbolic. It wasn’t just about appetite — it felt like we were all quietly craving a pause from the everyday toxicity around us. Maybe it was even more telling for my friends, who are still navigating the daily grind of rigid work hours and, at times, toxic workplace. My own rhythm is more flexible now, with fewer constraints. But that doesn’t mean I’m free from life’s toxicities — mine just manifest differently.

Looking back, I know it was the right call to make time for this dinner. We needed to let things out — the kind of emotional release that doesn’t require fixing, just space and safety. As usual, I slipped into my natural role as the “good Marites” — listening, sharing my two cents when relevant, but staying mindful of what I learned from a mental health briefing: Be present, not prescriptive. People under pressure or struggling with anxiety often don’t need solutions — they need someone who simply listens without judgment or unsolicited advice.

Still, I did share what’s helped me since I stepped away from full-time work two years ago: grounding myself, managing my expectations, and practicing intentional manifestation. I’ve learned that doubting your dreams can delay or even block them from happening. One insight that stayed with me came from Vishen Lakhiani of Mindvalley — he said that before manifestations come to fruition, we often face a series of challenges. Things tend to get messier before they get better. That resonated deeply.

It’s a reminder that stress itself isn’t always the enemy. In small doses, especially the kind that comes with meaningful goals, it can sharpen our focus and improve performance. But the danger arises when high demands persist, expectations are unmet, and things like control, support, or fairness disappear. That’s when stress morphs into something destructive — leading to anxiety, depression, hypertension, even substance misuse or metabolic issues.

When we finally said our goodbyes, the mood was noticeably lighter. Smiles returned. The meeting became a reminder of a truth too often brushed aside: our mental health is non-negotiable.

Yes, work can bring meaning and a sense of purpose. But it should never come at the cost of our minds. Mental health is a priority, not a perk. So we should set boundaries. Use the tools and resources available. Encourage each other. Speak up when systems are broken. And if nothing changes — if the environment remains toxic, the workload relentless, or the leadership indifferent — give yourself permission to walk away.

Because the truth is: careers can pivot, industries shift, and better opportunities do exist, and that, I realized during my 2 years after retirement. We just have to look and take that leap to explore them.  Somewhere out there is a healthier team, a kinder manager, a workplace that respects both our talent and our well-being — waiting to meet us halfway. Or better still, giving us the options we’ve always wanted.

Remedies of Mental Health:

I did some research on mental health remedies. Some may not be all that easy to apply but it’s vital that we catch the signs early and acknowledge when we need to seek help. 

1. It’s essential that we are able to identify what strains us and to label that feeling. Acknowledging  that “I’m exhausted, not just busy” can make it easy to seek the right kind of help. Verbalizing it can minimize the stigma as well as make others aware that we’re going through a crisis. 

2. Our nervous system has a downtime and needs to recover. Take micro-breaks—stretching, walk around the room—just interrupt the cortisol (stress hormone) cycle. 

There are many apps on  breathing exercises to lower the heart rate to a calmer baseline. I do mine using the Silva Method breathing countdown from 100 to 1 or 50 to 1, or 30 to 1, two to three times a day. 

3. Set boundaries with tech. Mute non-urgent channels after work, switch off read-receipts, or cluster email checks.  Unfortunately, there are bosses who expect their subordinates to be available 24/7 even if the situation doesn’t call for it. I’ve always been attached to my phone because I practically manage things electronically.  So it really has been a challenge to just put down the phone even when I’m about to sleep. But the meditation before sleeping has helped me a lot. 

4. Peer circles. Have regular peer-support huddles to help manage our internal struggles. It’s a great coping and “venting” mechanism especially on rough days.  I’ve kept my small circle of friends even after retirement. Camaraderie buffers isolation and normalizes help- seeking. It strengthens the bond with friends and makes us realize that there is always someone we can run to when needed. 

5.Leverage on company, government or NGO programs that offer hotlines, subsidized therapy, or mental-health days. There are many made available by agencies. It only takes that one most difficult step to make that call or walk to that facility to seek assistance. 

6. The problem can be structural, not personal. Work overload, abusive leadership at work that tramples belief and confidence in ourselves. Gone are the days when employees  just keep silent over excessive or habitual insults hurled by superiors who overshoot their boundaries. There are regulations and policies that protect employees. The anonymity provided by government policies like the Whistleblower Act is a big move that encourages employees to step forward and air grievances with less fear of retaliation from the person being reported. 

7.  Know your rights. 

• Document patterns. Keep a dated log of toxic incidents—unreasonable deadlines, belittling emails, or retaliation for legitimate questions. Evidence is key when escalating to HR or regulators.
• In the Philippines and most countries, there is a Labor Law that mandates safe and healthy work environments. 
• Talk to trusted mentors, even labor unions, or professional psychologists who can articulate the risk to management in business terms productivity, retention, compliance…a healthy work environment. 

8. On a wider scale, organized groups like the World Health Organization (WHO) and International Labor Organization (ILO) continue to push for systemic fixes, foster open dialogues and programs about mental health. They have initiated guidelines to urge companies to redesign workload, give staff more autonomy, train managers to lead with compassion and empathy.

Here’s to manifesting that we all find ideal leaders who not only nurture the leadership potential of their juniors but also lead with empathy and compassion.