Oh tradition you have killed me. 2013 VOF Week 3

Every woman’s dream is to live a happy life. But most women only realize this dream when they are gone. Anita is a young Girl of 21 who found the man of her dreams but because of the high bride price demanded by her African parents, she lost this man. The huge amounts of money parents ask for these days play a role in the domestic abuses that visit our marital homes. Parents are using this as an opportunity to get rich and make up for money that they couldn't make elsewhere. This dowry in some cases is derided as a means to enrich the bride's family. If a man and a woman love each other, why should they need to prove it with expensive symbolism? Anita became frustrated and was exposed. She finally dies of HIV/AIDS ten year later living behind two girls.
Oh tradition you have killed me.
Martha is married and her bride price is paid but she is not happy. Barely a month after her marriage, she was allegedly tortured. She was constantly reminded that she was the man’s property. She then becomes a 'servant' of the buyer; bearing children, providing sex, and performing household chores. She suffers constant harassment in a society where perceptions of women are less productive and the men define the women's place in society.Martha, due to hardship and pain abandons her marriage. She later remarried and had three other children but her first husband claims control of her life and all she owns including the children unless his bride price is refunded. Some years later Martha dies and the two husbands are fighting over her corpse. Finally she is given to her first husband against her wish and her three children also handed over to him. How can tradition deprive a man from his children simply because he didn’t pay the bride price of the woman?
Oh tradition you have killed me.
The mothers of the brides are ridiculed to the background when the traditional rites are performed. The dowry collection is carried out by uncles, in-laws and the bride’s fathers. The mothers are not given any token of appreciation as it called, when they have been the ones responsible for the well being of their children. The essence of the bride price is to make a woman submissive and powerless. It is a shame and should be abolished.
Oh tradition you have killed me.
Traditionally, the prospective husband is expected to give a certain amount of money and goods, including cattle, goats, blankets or cowries shells before a marriage is agreed. In contrast, a token bride price is usually a small symbolic payment made by the groom’s family to the bride’s family. This complex set of norms with the high rate of unemployment and low income level of men has discouraged them from getting married. So many women stay with men who haven’t paid their bride prices and they have children. They easily send them away and even abandoned their responsibility to the women which exposes the woman to many societal ills.
Oh tradition you have killed me.
Does bride price maintains respect for women any longer? If you’re not for sale then join me to say No to the payment of dowry and bride price in Africa. I wish to carry out a project against the highly paid bride price and dowry of women in the Grassfield of Cameroon which has led to the high rate of domestic violence and HIV/AIDS amongst women and girls.
Women and Girls are not for sales