ONE DAY AM GOING TO STOMP A HAIR SALON

I have made up my mind and there is nothing you are going to say to stop me. Four out of five women in Nairobi, and elsewhere, spot a hair weave or a hair extension of some kind. I don't have a problem with that. It is their money, and they are free to do what they wish with it. In fact, come to think of it, I have never taken a woman to the salon to get a weave. But I have taken a woman to get her hair washed and set. And I paid for it. The hair stylist, who happens to be a friend of mine did the washing and setting under my strict supervision.

Supervision, so you ask. Supervision, yes. Because I have worked in a salon and know how it should be done. I also know how (if a client insists) to advice on what kind of weave a client should have. I think some of the weaves we see around are so uncomplimenting to women. I think I am single-handedly going to change that. This is why.

I was on a date on Thursday with a very beautiful girl (she is a woman, but don't push it, okay?) whose weave made me want to turn the restaurant into a salon! I mean it was so bad I wanted to go to the salon and have a word (or two) with the stylist who had done such a horrible weave. It made the girl look like a salon dummy. It was black in colour. The girl is so light skinned you can see her in the dark! I was so furious I was almost asking her where the salon is. I only remembered I was supposed to enjoy the date and not worry about a careless hairstylist when she asked what I had to tell her. I knew I was in trouble. This meant saying something nice about her, about her dress (yes she was wearing one!), about her shoes (which were hidden under the table), about her handbag (a clutch bag), and about my worst nightmare.... her hair.

I had, long before I knew I would work in a salon, vowed never to tell a lie. Telling a woman she has a nice hairstyle when, she and I know it is a weave, is a lie to me. Call me anything but that is the way I see it. So there I was having lunch with my date looking for the right words. I know she had spent a lot of time (and not my money) at the salon getting her hair done. But having promised myself not to do such a thing, I silently vowed to stay true to my word.

Everyday I see the girl next door, her mom and her female siblings I can't help but pity her brothers! There are a total of eight women in the girl next door's house and yet none of her three brothers have seen a woman's real hair. Even Penny, who is the youngest of them all (she is six years old) has never walked around in her real hair. I don't know why they seem to prefer having weaves. But I personally think it is wrong. Most salons in Nairobi are giving their clients a raw deal. Soon they will be sewing horse tails on top of two months old babies! It doesn't matter what you tell me. That is why I couldn't compliment my date's new hairstyle. I just watched her fume and puff her cheeks all she wanted.

I wasn't going to compliment her hairdo! And because of that our date ended in shambles. That is why I have decided to head to the nearest salon and start proving a point. Like I said, I am going to be the change I need to see. Otherwise these salons will keep on ruining my dates.