Parenting Partnerships

When my children were small I was too young and naive to understand how fleeting our time together would be. Instead of taking the time to simply be with them, I was listening to those who insisted that I be "productive." I am so fortunate that I have lived long enough to see my grandchildren parented by my children. It took all the pressure off me to do anything other than observe. How beautiful it was to watch.

It is so sad to me that we are not teaching the importance of parenting partners to our youth. We tend to act as if the father is a provider of seed and support, but not part of the active parts of parenting. The father of my children grew up in the inner-city, where there was no time for teaching tenderness to boys. Where was he to learn about the miracles of birth and cherished childhood? He simply didn't understand the process of peaceful parenting.

It is all well and good for girls to dream of being princesses and boys to dream of being great fighters, but this is no way to properly program people to be future parents. If a person can't tenderly and responsibly care for a plant or a fish, the person is not ready to be a parent. Real life is full of competing priorities; the needs of a baby must come first. Without a partner, it is impossible to adequately parent.

Education is the answer to programming competence into our children. But education can't include only what we learn from books; it must also teach basic life and cooperation skills. And to properly parent, we must also realize that babies take time away from our everyday chores. Who will do your chores while you hold your baby if you have no parenting partner?

The father of my children did well in manly work, and through our divorce, had to provide the other labors for his children when they were with him. He enlisted the help of his younger brother and his father and their wives. My son and my daughter can cook, cut firewood and grass, earn a living, and parent with their partners. This is not always a peaceful process, but they prioritize parenting over any other endeavors. I hope that this will continue on through many generations.

The man that I married shortly before the birth of my first grandchild was brought up on a chicken breeding farm, a son of the breeder. He understood the role of a relaxed mother in producing strong, healthy offspring, and did all in his power to keep me from having stress in my environment. He put his desires and needs aside whenever my children and/or their children were with me. He also assisted with them whenever he was home, mostly ministering to me while I ministered to the children.

I still enjoy ministering to young parents when they prioritize their children, and occasionally need an extra set of hands. My husband still loves to assist me in my mothering. This is our continued mission.