Peace money can't buy

His entrance was loud enough. It didn’t matter to him that this was the dead of the night and a school day at that. Thankfully the children are sound sleepers, so they never hear any of the dramatic returns of their father. She, however, didn’t sleep through the drama. When he was away her senses were always heightened because she now became the protector and provider for her children. She turned over on their bed and shut her eyes a little tighter. She didn’t want to be suffocated with his alcoholic breath. She never drank and she wasn’t sure whether it was his breath or her being angry at him was more offensive. He turned on the lights. She saw him fumble with his belt and stagger on the spot. He almost tripped on his trousers that he was struggling to kick off before he slept. He finally disrobed and staggered to bed. He fell in with a thud. She thanked God for a sturdy bed, because she would have to buy a new one every time he fell in like that.

She didn’t cover him. He would kick the covers away anyway. He slept almost immediately. His snores filled the room. She took her pillow to mute the sounds of his snoring because it changed tune almost every day and it was one of the things she would never get used to.

“Is this what my marriage has turned into?” She silently asked herself. He would get money to drink daily but when it came to fixing his responsibilities as the man of the house, as a husband, as a father, he always failed. She found herself always covering gaps, covering the shame of being evicted or the children being sent home for unpaid school fees. Her pockets were stretched thin. It was only a matter of time before her pockets broke because they were having echoes now. She looked at how badly their home had deteriorated. The children’s uniforms were fine, but their house clothes were threadbare. Sleep still eluded her. She sat up in bed. She wondered how they got here. But everything in her was screaming she needed to leave. She remembered once, not too long ago he hit her in his drunkenness, and the children were terrified of him. They needed a safe place to go to. To come home to. To live in. She needed to give them the peace they very much needed. There she made a decision and never looked back. It would be small, it would be humble, but she would start anyway. The luxury mansion they lived in was not worth the peace they lacked.

It took three months to plan her exit. She waited for the term to end. She transferred her children from the school they attended. She was waiting for the email for her new job posting and she got it. The beauty of it was that it was in a different town altogether. What more could she ask for. How wonderfully things have aligned for her. When the day came, she had packed a suitcase of the children’s belongings. She only packed the clothes she bought herself and left the ones he bought, when love was still so strong. She left him a letter. What she felt was too big to just leave a note. She felt such a sense of freedom the moment she turned her car on and heard it rev. It did the customary minute long start up before she drove off. When she moved forward, she moved and laughed knowing that this would be the last time the neighborhood will see or hear of her. She picked the kids on the way and drove off into the new highway, the new house, the new posting, so many new beginnings. So many possibilities. Most importantly, the kind of peace money can’t buy was the ultimate price.