Saving Face

As women our faces are, most times, the first gateway to the way people perceive us. I recently started wondering to myself as I placed makeup on my face on mornings, watching the lines, wrinkles and discolouration get concealed behind a full coverage paste that matches the modal tone of my skin. Often hurried, I don't bother looking at my unmade face, only focusing on the final look. This is the product of busy days of motherhood and the work-life-sidequest balance I have fallen into. I pondered this for the last week, and every day I thought I should really take care of my skin better, drink more water, sleep better... But first let me order my refills of my go-to makeup as I'm running low. Can't be caught without my face on, right?

My sister is one of the most experienced and educated nutrition professionals in my small country of Trinidad and Tobago. Her business moniker is Didi, and so I think of her as the big sister of health and wellness, though she's younger than I am. She always speaks about hydration in our tropical climate, and I am particularly aware of this as my work is climate change adaptation. She also speaks about sleep, and eating a balance which she shares with her clients. When I looked at my face this morning, after not washing up properly because I had a hard night putting the kids down and getting work done, I observed my darkening eyes, the lines, the blotches and blemishes that I hadn't really noticed before. My lips were wrinkled from dehydration, my hair was dull and dry. Clogged pores, old makeup that just didn't get taken off properly, I hardly recognized myself.

I stretched the skin, pulling it every which way and checking on acne and scars I hadn't noticed before. Always a rushed swipe of powder or dab of concealer and these were adequately hidden for my day in the wild of society. I looked at my drooping eyelids and remembered how easy it was when I was younger to look at least a bit more put together, thinking of how the lines really had to have changed over the years to achieve the same look. As an artist, I noticed the shapes, colours, textures and patterns that I hadn't noticed before. I worried that this new older face was the beginning of the end for the things I wanted to accomplish. This concept of a 'facecard', as the young people say, flipped into my mental slidedeck and I started wondering about the next 5 years and how it would decline even more. As I felt my worry grow and my self-consciousness balloon in my chest, suddenly a thought sliced through. I could start taking care of myself now. Yes, things were stressful, the kids won't give a break and resources would have to shift. On a side note, I'm a natural resource management major, as you can probably tell my mind works that way most times. Back to the face.

My face was showing, and I had ignored it and covered it up for too long. The act of 'putting my face on' as I called it every morning was indeed hiding my real face which was asking for help. So I decided to change my lifestyle a little, to look at life and not the style. While the children screamed and the house unravelled, the emails chimed in and the breakfast burned, I took a minute and washed my face and applied some moisturizer. Then I ran into the fray again. That 60 second action made me feel amazing. I hope that momentum continues so I can glow the same on the outside with the hope and wonder for life I try to feed the fire for within. I know you may not have the same burdens and roles as I do, but today I urge you, drink more water, eat well and sleep enough. Look at your face in the mirror and take note because it is your gateway to the world. Face forward, face your fears and don't let it only be a facade.