Thank you fibroids!

Dear fibroids,

You know you came into my life as a whirlwind.

You took over my body, took over my mind and took over my life.

I watched as you grew from the little mustard seed-like form you started as, to the size of a nine month old foetus. The tears I cried due to the pains and suffering you caused me were not to be compared to the pain I felt knowing that I had no capacity to take you out. The sleepless nights, the early morning pains, the unscheduled red liquid visits, the discomfort, the bloated tummy, the mental torture and all the other negative effects of your uninvited visit to my life are stamped in my memory for life. So you might wonder why I would choose to thank you.

I thank you because if you had not come into my life, I wouldn't have really understood life. You taught me the greatest lesson of life - the fact that life in itself is worthless without money. Money they say can't buy happiness...I disagree! Money is not only able to buy you happiness but it can also buy you good health, a great life and oh, money can buy friendships and relationships.

That is the one lesson you have taught me that I wish I knew many years ago. Why did you come so late? You should have come many years earlier. Eleven years ago when you came into my life, if I know what I know now, I would have thrown a welcome party for you, instead of treating you with disdain. I lived with you for eleven years not by choice but by circumstance. I couldn't afford to get you out. So no, fibroids, you didn't cause me all that pain and suffering, poverty did.

Poverty...oh the word sounds so simple but so complicated at the same time. Who would have thought that a person like me was poor? Who would have thought that a well-educated, hardworking woman like me had no capacity to pay for fibroids surgery? Who would have thought that a life-long humanitarian, do-good human like me would have cried and begged for help and got none for years? Who would have thought that? Not even in my wildest dreams would I have believed that you would be in my life for that long. I thought I was a good human. Good humans may go through all kinds of challenges, yes, but not in sickness would they be treated so badly. I was so wrong. Never in my life had I ever been so wrong.

2024 is in my history books as the year that never was, but how can I expunge it from my memory when it was the year that taught me the greatest lessons of life? 2024 taught me that nothing on this earth can be compared to money. Money hides your shame, it hides your suffering, it hides your flaws, it hides the true situation of your life. When you came into my life dear fibroids, and terrorized my life for so long to a stage where I could barely breathe or live, do you think I would have allowed you to continue ravaging my body if I had a choice? I had no choice. That is what poverty does..it leaves you with no options.

As a woman, I had no choice when you chose me. You chose a woman who could barely take care of her most basic needs. You chose me! Were you trying to disgrace me? Were you trying to show me how human net worth deficient I was? Were you trying to shame me for being me? If that was your purpose, yes you succeeded. You showed me how much of a failure I was in all ramifications. You showed me that I added no value to the world. You showed me how much of a worthless person humans thought I was such that I was condemned to misery. My tears meant nothing to anyone. Friendships that I thought I had were proven to be just one-sided friendships. I was practically ignored and denied by almost every single living soul - both physically and electronically.

Your presence in my life and your ravaging effect were not enough to invoke any form of empathy towards me. You made me realize that a piece of garbage was worth a million times more than me. When I was wheeled into that surgery room on that fateful day, you knew how alone and distraught I felt. All my years of loving, caring, holding other people's hands and standing by others, seemed like wasted years. I felt like a bad human. My confidence in life and it's promises was completely eroded. I felt like I knew nothing. I didn't deserve that, so I thought.

You have taught me the same lessons I have always known for years which guided my principles in life and made me more humanitarian than a human should normally be. The same lessons I thought I knew so well which was that there is nothing in this life. The only difference is, I had a warped idea of interpreting that to mean because there is nothing in this life, then let's all do good, let's all show love to each other, let's all be a shoulder for each other. Unfortunately, it was not to be when it came to my turn.

I woke up after hours of being put to sleep and realized that though you were gone, you left one lesson inside of me - a poor person has no value. Sad, but true. Prior to that, I wasted so many years not chasing money because I thought humans and their development were the most important things in the world. I was wrong. I was living in a bubble that bursted when I was wheeled into that surgery room. I was alone. A human being who was not even worthy enough to receive empathy for eleven years and not even worthy enough to have someone hold my hands as I went in to take you out. My life would have ended on that day and nobody would have noticed, except, I at least, was able to spare a few coins to pay for my company at the hospital. I paid!

If you had not come into my life fibroids, how would I have known that I was a worthless piece of garbage? How would I have known that without money I am nothing? Thank you!