THE FORGOTTEN WOMAN: INCLUSIVE EMPOWERMENT

On every poster that addresses gender based violence, at least where I come from,

is a vulnerable grassroots woman carrying a snort filled baby on her back, with

torn clothes and sometimes carrying something on top of her head. A heavy jar

of water or bundle of firewood, you get the picture. This image is aimed at

drawing sympathy from donors and the general public to act according to the

advocacy at hand.

The vividness doesn’t just stop there but it goes on to depict how powerless this

woman is to fight for her own rights and needs intervention to access

affordable or free legal aid, shelter and livelihood. Fair enough, this woman

is really needy and in my humanitarian employee experience, I have served this

woman so many times and unfortunately because of some deeply rooted cultural

misconceptions and traps, this woman has returned to her abuser and sometimes

died at his hands or even killed him herself and is now in jail. Not my focus

today. Which woman am I saying is forgotten?

As a project consultant I meet various interesting people with various intriguing

stories. Let me say, meeting Dr Miriam opened my eyes to a world I didn’t know

existed. Picture this, Grace*(not real

name) drove her latest Landrover Discovery to a police station with a large

black eye and bleeding gums. The police station was located in a leafy suburb

in Harare and all she needed was to be protected from her well known and

respected husband. She, was also a very respectable member of the community

whose face was always plastered on billboards and media as an inspirational

woman. When she got to the police station, the officers would not believe a

powerful woman like that would need security, I mean she was driving a ‘totem’

for crying out loud. Her clothes, even though bloodied looked expensive. As she

tried to make the report, all the officers could say was, ’madam Grace, go home

and discuss it over with your husband, I’m sure it was all misunderstanding!’

Your guess is as good as mine, she couldn’t be helped by the very people placed in

the legal system to offer support to domestic violence survivors, without

discrimination. If it was that woman in my introduction who had reported, Oh

they would hurry and call various entities that take in such women and protect

them by offering them temporary shelter and later a livelihood project to gain

independence and even legal aid to make sure the violence perpetrator never

does it to them or anyone else in the future.

Systems are in place for the ‘vulnerable’ economically restrained woman. She is

protected as long as she seeks such assistance, rightly so. But back to Dr

Miriam, when she called me and told me about her initiative with the women’s

executive lounge (WEL), I was amazed. Her initiative helps create a safe space

for the ’forgotten woman’ .The woman like Grace who to the world has everything

money can buy, but is defenseless just like any other woman going through

domestic violence. When it comes down to it, she is more vulnerable for not

having a community that protects her. The WEL is a response to that and

provides a space for the executive woman to access legal assistance and shelter

in selected resorts.

The platform also offers networking in order to continuously empower each other. It

is not only domestic violence that is a festering wound among this demographic

but a host of sexual harassment which also constitutes a part of gender based

violence.

Back to Grace, we realised that while she seems to have all the resources at her

disposal, all her property is registered in her husband’s name. Their family

lawyer is under her husband’s check. She is always under his surveillance and

no one wants to rub him the wrong way, he has power, influence, and money. He

donates to charity and preaches in church. But Mr almost perfect beats Grace

and their children to pulp. His family is scared to death of him, but who will

help them escape or this is their fate?

In our countries, do we also have policies that protect the executive women? The

woman that seems to have everything figured out and is often a beacon of hope

for those who follow her. She sits in high offices. She drives the latest cars.

She is poised and has internalised her pain. She evens speaks out for the

downtrodden. But, who speaks for this forgotten woman because trust me, she

lives among us faking a smile and hiding her wounds with fenti powder?