The Freedom of Letting Go - Growth Beyond Validation, By Amb. Maryben Omollo

Introduction - The Invisible Chains of Validation

In a world driven by likes, shares, and applause, the desire for validation has become a silent force shaping how people think, act, and live. Ambassador Maryben Omollo, a globally recognised mental health and leadership coach, offers a liberating insight:

“You grow faster once you stop caring about feeling validated.”

This simple yet profound statement challenges a deeply ingrained belief—that our worth is tied to external approval. In truth, the need for validation can become a barrier to authenticity, creativity, and personal growth.

The Trap of External Approval

From childhood, many are conditioned to seek approval—from parents, teachers, peers, and eventually, society. While encouragement and recognition can be motivating, an overreliance on external validation can lead to:

1. Self-doubt - Constantly questioning one’s worth based on others’ opinions.

2. Inauthenticity - Making choices to please others rather than staying true to oneself.

3. Fear of failure - Avoiding risks due to fear of judgment or rejection.

4. Emotional dependency - Feeling anxious or unworthy without praise or affirmation.

Ambassador Omollo emphasises that true growth begins when individuals break free from this cycle. When people stop living for applause, they start living with purpose.

The Shift to Internal Validation

Internal validation is the practice of affirming one’s own worth, values, and decisions without needing external approval. It is rooted in self-awareness, self-respect, and emotional maturity.

When individuals validate themselves, they:

1. Trust their instincts and make decisions aligned with their values.

2. Take risks without fear of judgment.

3. Celebrate progress, not just outcomes.

4. Learn from failure without shame.

Ambassador Omollo teaches that this shift is not about arrogance or isolation—it’s about empowerment. It’s about recognising that growth is an internal journey, not a public performance.

Leadership Without the Need to Please

In leadership, the need for validation can be especially limiting. Leaders who constantly seek approval may avoid tough decisions, suppress innovation, or compromise their integrity to maintain popularity.

Conversely, leaders who are grounded in internal validation:

1. Lead with clarity and conviction.

2. Inspire authenticity and courage in others.

3. Create inclusive environments where diverse voices are valued.

4. Make decisions based on principles, not popularity.

Ambassador Omollo’s work across Africa has shown that the most impactful leaders are those who are not driven by applause but by purpose. They understand that leadership is not about being liked—it’s about making a difference.

The Courage to Be Misunderstood

One of the greatest fears that keeps people trapped in the need for validation is the fear of being misunderstood. But as Omollo points out, growth often requires the courage to stand alone, to be different, and to be misunderstood. History is filled with innovators, artists, and changemakers who were initially ridiculed or rejected. Their breakthroughs came not because they were validated—but because they were willing to keep going without it. Letting go of the need to be understood by everyone is a powerful act of self-liberation. It allows individuals to focus on what truly matters - their mission, their values, and their growth.

A Lesson in Self-Trust

The core lesson in Ambassador Omollo’s message is this:

You do not need permission to grow. You do not need applause to evolve. You do not need validation to be valuable. Growth is not a performance—it is a process. And the more you trust yourself, the faster and more authentically you grow. This lesson is especially important in today’s hyperconnected world, where comparison and criticism are constant. Choosing to validate yourself is a radical act of self-love and resilience.

Point of Reflection

Take a moment to reflect:

1. Do you often wait for others to approve your ideas before acting on them?

2. Have you ever held back from expressing yourself out of fear of judgment?

3. Are your goals truly your own—or shaped by what others expect of you?

4. What would you do differently if you no longer needed anyone’s validation?

If these questions stir something within you, it may be time to reclaim your power. To stop waiting for permission. To start growing on your own terms.

Conclusion - Grow Anyway

Ambassador Maryben Omollo’s insight is both a challenge and an invitation. It challenges the belief that validation is necessary for success. And it invites each of us to grow anyway—to grow without applause, without permission, and without fear. Because the truth is, the most meaningful growth happens in silence. In the quiet moments when no one is watching. In the decisions made, not to impress, but to align. In the courage to keep going, even when no one claps. So, grow. Not for them. Not for likes. Not for praise. Grow for you.