The Little Things

Yesterday reminded me of something poignant that we tend to forget. One single encounter brought me back to the reality of remembrance and acknowledging the fact that women leaders often forget some women; women who are unseen, invisible, silent and overlooked. and downtrodden by life. Women whose lives has been altered drastically by life's challenges.. Women who have been buried beneath the burden of the weight they carry which may sometimes even not be theirs. Women who have lost all hope and optimism. I met one yesterday, I came back home and cried. Because even though I have been buried beneath my own burdens for a very long time, meeting that woman made me feel like I have none.

I saw her approach a cute purple car whose driver is a young woman accompanied by another young woman seated beside her. Within an instant, she quickly kickstart the car and drove away while the woman followed her with curses. I observed the few minutes encounter intently, and proceeded to my own rickety car which is no match to the classy one that drove off. As I entered it and was about to drive off, the same lady approached me looking exhausted, dejected, fighting back tears. As I wound down the car window and answered her greeting, she proceeded to beg me for assistance to feed her children; telling me how her husband died and left her with three children to cater for adding that when he was alive, they never lacked. He provided them with everything they needed; food, clothes, school fees. But now he is gone, and even her best friend has turned her back on her.

I got out of the car and walked round to meet her. I held her hands and began to speak; then the floodgates opened. She cried quietly, telling me how she just wants to get some food to take home to her children. I let her cry, then told her that God has not forgotten her. I encouraged her to keep hope alive, to believe and trust that this too shall pass.

I asked her to walk with me to the roadside shop close to where we stood, and I bought some bread and beverages for her to take home. As I handed her the food items, she almost fell to the ground thanking me. I was holding back tears at that point, and even though my purse was very lean; I decided to empty it for her. I went and withdrew the last money in my account and gave to her.

It was at that point I saw she had calmed down a bit and I decided to capitalise on the calmness.

I told her that I saw her cursing that young woman in the purple car, and that was wrong. She should not have cursed her because she does not know what that young woman is going through too. I reminded her that everyone is going through something; both the haves and the have-not, and reminded her that she may think she has the worst problem in the world because she is widowed and struggling to care for her children. But she may be in a better place than the young women who refused to listen to her and drove away instead.. I told her that she should always remember that PEOPLE GIVE ONLY WHAT THEY HAVE.

I told her that I too was widowed, and I thought the world would end for me then. But here I am still standing; hence if I could survive and thrive, then she can too. I encouraged her to remain firm, hopeful and faithful that her life will turn around for the better one day.

I also reminded her that her friend who she thinks has abandoned her might also be going through challenges of her own that she does not know of. I advised her to give people grace and maintain a positive mindset about everything and at all times.

I asked for her contact to follow up with her, she said she does not have a phone, she had to sell it to buy food.

Lastly, I advised her to find a job to do no matter how little, even if it is roasting corn by the road side. And assured her that GOD shall bless the work of her hand.

As we parted ways, I know our encounter has lifted up not just her and her children hunger for the day, but also her spirits and hope.

And it made me so glad to know that even if I do not accomplish anything else for the whole of this week, knowing I have touched this widow's life positively today is enough because sometimes the greatest change and impact is in the little things like this.

This is why we created SHEROES RISING FOR DEVELOPMENT INITIATIVE, to tell the stories of women like this widow who have no voice, lost hope and are invisible.

Because these women matter, thier stories matter and it is our collective stories that will change the world.