The Mother to My Future Children:My Advice to Women on Their Journey to Becoming

We live in a fast-paced world where everyone seems to be rushing to achieve something at a specific time. As a woman, I have often heard that by 27, you should have met a good life partner and had a child, otherwise, people say being in your 30s is too late. 

But it's okay. I fully understand now that raising a child when I am slightly older is better than raising a child while healing from trauma, struggling to provide, or feeling guilty when I can’t give them the best.

I cannot complain about my childhood. It was beautiful despite its struggles, but I certainly want to do better for my children. You are exactly where you need to be in life. As a woman, the best thing you can ever do for yourself is to develop your wealth—whether that wealth is financial, emotional, or spiritual. Meet your goals without excuses. Follow that dream, and only when you are ready—when your heart yearns for children—should you have them.

The best gift you can give your children is a mother who wants them. A mother who never regrets having them. I want to be an exemplary mother to my kids one day. I want to be the mother who followed her dreams, the mother who achieved her goals, and the mother who truly wanted her children. As Oprah Winfrey says, “You become what you believe, not what you want or wish for. You become what you deeply believe.” It is from our core beliefs that we shape our lives and futures, and I want to believe in building a fulfilled life before raising children.

If you already have one, two, or three children now, you can still start becoming that person—the best version of yourself. Toughen up and build yourself from the inside out because our children mirror our thoughts, our upbringing shapes them. Michelle Obama reminds us, “We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to-do’ list.” Your children will benefit from seeing you thrive and take care of yourself. If you want to raise warriors who are kind, compassionate, courageous, loving, and believers in greatness, you must start by being one yourself.

It is vital to nurture your dreams and never let unfulfilled desires poison your potential to be a nurturing parent. As John Locke says, “Parents wonder why the streams are bitter, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain.” Our children will drink from the fountain of our lives, so it’s important we keep that fountain pure with contentment, fulfillment, and joy.

Let’s not allow society to dictate the timing or trajectory of our lives. Coco Chanel once said, “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” The expectations placed on women about when to marry or when to have children should not drown out your own voice and desires. Your life is yours to live, and as Maya Angelou beautifully put it, “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.” Thriving means more than merely existing for others—it means living your life with purpose and joy.

If we want to raise the next generation of empowered, strong, and compassionate children, we must first become empowered women ourselves. Beyoncé once said, “We need to reshape our own perception of how we view ourselves. We have to step up as women and take the lead.” When we lead our lives with purpose, authenticity, and fulfillment, we become the role models our children need.

Never let society decide your life for you because they will never live it for you. Build your life, fulfill your dreams, and when your heart is ready, build the family you will cherish, with love and no regrets.