The mother who wasn’t forgetting: What PTSD taught me about judging too quickly

It was a humid Wednesday at the Primary Health Center in Ogun State, where I was conducting Project Safe birth outreach. The nurse’s sharp voice broke through the waiting room noise.

“Madam, this is the third time you’re bringing your baby late! Don’t you care about your child’s health?”

The young mother stood silently, her baby strapped to her back, eyes fixed on the floor. Something in her stillness unsettled me. I walked over and gently asked, “Sister, what’s your name?”

“Folake,” she whispered. Her words trembled as she shared her story, how she had nearly died during childbirth from excessive bleeding. Since then, she had been forgetting things: dates, chores, even where she kept her baby’s immunization card.

That was the moment I realized this wasn’t negligence. It was trauma. Postpartum PTSD. The nurse had judged too quickly.

She had made assumptions:

That missing appointments meant carelessness

That a mother who seemed "out of it" was just not paying attention

That if someone survived childbirth physically, they were fine

That all mothers had the mental capacity to track schedules

She didn't see what was invisible: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from a near-death birth experience.

She vaccinated her baby that day, and afterward, I showed Folake and other new mothers how to use Google Calendar on their phone to set up reminders with alarms and voice notes.

I set up her baby's immunization schedule, but I did more:

Recurring reminders: one week before, three days before, the morning of, and two hours before the appointment

Loud alarm sounds, not just notifications

Voice notes: I recorded myself saying, "Folake, today is the baby's immunization day at Ota Health Center."

We also advise that they should refer her to a professional for trum screening and attention

Months later, Folake returned for her baby’s final immunization, right on time. Smiling, she said, “I want to help other mothers like me.” Today, she’s one of our Reminder Mamas in Ota, teaching new mothers how to use Google Calendar as immunization reminders.

That day changed me. I learned that unconscious bias hides behind assumptions, that a quiet mother isn’t always careless, and missed appointments don’t always mean neglect. Sometimes, what looks like indifference is a woman still trying to heal from a storm only she survived.

Before we judge, we must ask: What story am I not seeing?

#MaternalHealth #PTSD #OgunState #UnconsciousBias #MentalHealthAwareness #CommunityHealth #SocialImpact

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