The Paradox of Proactivity

When people say, “I landed my dream job,” most of us imagine instant bliss. The glow of achievement, the satisfaction of walking into a role that feels tailor-made, the steady rhythm of fulfillment each day. That was me not too long ago. I got my dream job and everything seemed to align. My prayers, preparation and persistence had brought me here.

But here’s the part people don’t always talk about: the dream doesn’t cancel growth. Sometimes, the very place you’ve prayed to be is also the place where God stretches you, prunes you and asks you to unlearn old ways of thinking. And that’s where I currently am; living the dream but also living through the pruning.

The Call to Be Proactive

One of the first lessons I’ve had to confront in this new role is the idea of being proactive. My boss made it clear from the start: she values initiative, foresight and the ability to act without being spoon-fed instructions. At first, her feedback was simple—I wasn’t being proactive enough. Fair enough, I thought. Challenge accepted.

I leaned in. I started asking more questions. I tried to anticipate needs. I pushed myself to stay two steps ahead. I wanted to prove not just to her but also to myself that I could do this.

The Confusion Spiral

Then the pendulum swung.

When I asked clarifying questions sometimes her response would be, “Should you really be asking me this?” That stung. It made me second-guess my judgment. So the next time, instead of asking, I’d go ahead and act on what I thought was best. But then the feedback would come back as, “Why are you doing this without clearing it with me?”

And just like that, I felt trapped in a loop.

Ask too much and I look dependent. Act too much and I look presumptuous. Somewhere between the two lies a sweet spot but where?

Slowly, a new feeling crept in: anxiety. Not the kind that paralyzes you completely but the kind that sits at the edge of your chest, tightening every time a notification pops up from your boss. Not because you haven’t worked hard but because you’re unsure if what you’ve done will be received as right.

Lessons in the Stretching

This is where I had to pause. To breathe. To remind myself: this is not a complaint. This is not me being ungrateful. This is me admitting that growth is rarely straightforward. Feedback isn’t always a neat checklist where once you fix it, you’re done. It’s more like a dance step forward, adjust, recalibrate, step again.

Being proactive isn’t just about action; it’s about alignment. It’s knowing when to step boldly and when to seek clarity. It’s learning how your leader thinks, what they value most and how they like things done. And that takes time, patience and humility.

Most importantly, it takes grace for myself, for my boss and for the process.

The Human Side of Work

This journey has also reminded me that behind every title, every task, every expectation, there’s a human story playing out. My story right now is about learning to quiet the anxious voice that says, “You’re not enough.” It’s about trusting that pruning is a sign of growth not rejection.

And maybe some of you reading this know exactly what I mean. Maybe you’ve been in a job where the instructions felt like a moving target. Maybe you’ve given your all yet still felt like you were missing the mark. Maybe you’ve wrestled with the same question I ask myself sometimes: Am I doing too much or not enough?

So here’s where I want to invite you in:

1. Have you ever faced this paradox of proactivity; caught between acting on initiative and waiting for approval?
2. How did you navigate it?
3. What mindset shifts or practical steps helped you find your rhythm?

Because while I’m sharing my story, I believe it’s not just about me. Many of us are walking this tightrope in one way or another at work, in relationships even in faith.

Closing Thoughts

As I write this, I don’t have all the answers.

But I do know this: I’m choosing not to let anxiety have the final say. I’m choosing to see this season as part of my refining. And I’m reminding myself daily that the dream isn’t just about the role it’s about the person I’m becoming in the role.

Maybe you need that reminder too.