Unconditional Love in a Conditional World

Like many Indian households, I too hail from a large extended family of great aunts and great uncles who deeply rever social constructs like patriarchy, caste, class, creed, and religion. Some members of the younger generation, including myself, have begun to question and move away from these rigid social categories. In contrast, many of the older family members continue to uphold and sanctify these constructs.

My parents, fortunately, gave me the freedom to make choices in various aspects of life, while instilling in me the importance of humility, kindness, and empathy. I was never taught to discriminate or view people as unequal. Instead, I was encouraged to treat everyone with respect and dignity. I was also fortunate to have friends who shared these values, and from whom I learned the importance of being compassionate and open-minded.

When my partner, Kamal, and I decided to get married, I didn't consider his social background or caste. All that mattered to me was that he was a kind, caring, and optimistic person who loved me unconditionally, and whom I loved deeply. However, our engagement was met with disgust and hatred from certain extended family, simply because ours was an inter-caste marriage. Our wedding day felt like a funeral, as they struggled to conceal their distaste behind artificial congratulations and forced smiles.

Despite the many joys and successes Kamal and I have experienced this year, we have also faced numerous challenges with Kamal being subjected to insults, derogatory attitudes, and shaming from certain kin, simply because of his caste. In moments of quiet reflection, I often wonder how some people can feel superior to others based solely on their birth, despite lacking any notable achievements or merit.

Why do people feel the need to assert their superiority over others? Why can't they be confident and self-assured without putting others down? Why is it easier for them to discriminate and shun others rather than coexisting with empathy and kindness? If we had the answers to these questions, perhaps we wouldn't continue to witness discrimination, hate crimes, and wars.

There have been days when I've questioned the point of working to alleviate discrimination and violence in society, especially when my own family members perpetuate these injustices. However, there have also been days when I've felt compelled to work even harder to counterbalance the embarrassment I feel observing their actions and words. I hope to continue working towards equality in 2025 and beyond.

As I write this, I am reminded that I am just one tiny voice among many. But I hope that my words will resonate with those who have experienced similar struggles and emotions. To anyone reading this who may be feeling stressed, pained, angry, or anxious due to injustice and inequality, I want you to know that I hear you, I see you, and I stand with you.