Using my story to change my community perception

Talking about menstruation has always been a difficult task for a lot of people in our African context. Most women and mothers were never educated about this and so do not feel comfortable passing on the knowledge to their girl children. Most little girls who start menstruation at the age of 10 years would try hiding it from their parents by using tissues and even pieces of cloths to pad themselves up. In school if you happened to soil yourselves up you became an object of mockery, gossip and even isolation. In most households, it is the responsibility of the mother to provide menstrual hygiene kits to the girls. Most of these mothers who are not even allow to work by their husbands struggle so much to provide these. Just imagine a household were all are girls; they sometimes pray their children do not come to menstruation age as buying sanitary pads is a financial burden considering that most of them have no income and have to depend on the little provided by their husbands.

    The only knowledge I had of it was that gathered from my teacher in school. She was even too shy to handle the topic on menstrual hygiene or even pronounce the word MENSTRATION. She used different names to refer to it such as “Flower”, “Your time” “Month End” just to name a few. There where so many myths and taboos associated to menstruation. In a firm voice she will warn us not to play or get close to a boy or else we will get pregnant. She encouraged girls to stay away from school until they stop menstruating. I remember her telling us to avoid entering the kitchen to help prepare food. Today I look back and realize how much she was wrapped up in those myths and taboos and passed them on to us.

      I come from a family of seven girls where am the third girl. I started menstruating at the age of 10 years, way ahead of my two senior sisters. My mother had never talked to me about menstruation except for the distorted knowledge I had gathered from my teacher in school and friends. I went to the toilet and noticed blood on my pants. I was so confused especially as I thought being the third born, I will obviously be the third to menstruate. I had never noticed my sisters menstruate even as we shared the same room. I quickly cleaned up myself and went out of the toilet. Few minutes later, I felt wet again, ran into the toilet, then it dawned on me that I had started menstruating. I was devastated, I wept and felt confused. Mum had never talked to me about menstruation so I didn’t have the courage to tell her about what was going on. I felt like they will see me as a bad child for being the first to menstruate in my home. I succeeded in padding myself up with a lot of tissue and went unnoticed. Unfortunately, the flow was heavy on the second day. I told mum I was sick and was a perfect excuse to keep me from going to school. I was so cautious and tied a sweater round my waist just in case I soiled my dress. That evening my mother became suspicious. She asked me several times why I had the sweater around my waist but I couldn’t give any tangible reason. At some point she pulled off the sweater, my dress was all soiled with blood. Mum took me to her room and broke down crying. “Regie, have you starting menstruating at the age of 10 years. why did you have to start before your senior sisters?” I broke down crying too. I thought I had done something wrong. I apologized to her, but after a while she reassured me, it wasn’t my fault. She thought me how to clean up myself and how to correctly manage my personal hygiene. It so funny that my mum was educated and a teacher by profession yet she didn’t feel comfortable talking to her girls about menstrual hygiene.

         As I watch my little girl, Therese grows up, I made up my mind that she will not have the kind of bad experience I had. I started discussing about bodily changes and menstrual hygiene management with her at the age of nine years, although I was cautious about giving her age-appropriate information. Last year on her 10th birthday I gave her a menstrual kit for a birthday present made up of a pant, towel, disposable and reusable pad, a lion cloth and a bra. She was over the moon. I demonstrated how to use the pads and how to clean up. I can say she is prepared and equipped for her period. It has also given her the opportunity to know about her body and bodily changes. She is such an inquisitive little girl and so has read a lot on this from the internet. I also educate her brothers on menstrual hygiene with the hope that they will be a strong support system for Therese when it eventually starts. Realizing most of her friends who come around the house have never talked with their mums about this topic except from what they learn in school. I bring up the topic in our little chats and encourage them to ask questions from their mums, so that could open up opportunity for discussion. At our neighborhood meetings I have encouraged parents on several occasions to discuss these with their children.

       The past six years I have been committed to raising awareness about menstrual hygiene in the Bamenda 2 rural community area. I had the opportunity to Work as a community mobilization agent for the Cameroon Baptist convention, Bamenda 2 on Gender based violence for persons with disabilities, I use every opportunity to talk to community leaders and members on the proper management of menstrual hygiene for their children. Thanks to their support we have been able to educate and distribute dignity kits to most women and girls of menstruation age and held workshops on topics related to menstrual hygiene.

       It is our collective responsibility to make sure that young girls have the right information about their bodies and safe space to address their preoccupations before their first periods. Therefore, I recommend the government should consciously include topics on menstrual hygiene management in all their health campaigns especially in typical rural areas where there are still a lot of taboos and harmful cultural believes and practices on menstruation. They should also provide funding for many more projects in this domain and the distribution of menstrual hygiene kits.

More sensitization should be carried out in the community to demystify the myths and taboos surrounding menstrual hygiene.

At the level of schools, topics related to menstrual hygiene should be included in the school curriculum at an age-appropriate level.