Weaponizing people’s (especially women’s) fears is ignorance and insensitivity

How many times have you ever heard this “it’s just a/an (thing you’re afraid of). Get over it”?. If you’re a woman whose personal fears are constantly undermined or even mocked by men or other women, you would feel extremely invalidated.

Let’s say for example, you have ophidiophobia and when someone saw you freaking out over a snake they were holding, they would backhandedly reply “why are you women so afraid of snakes? How dramatic is that? Ridiculousness.”

What about if you have arachnophobia and someone who has a pet spider shakes his head and replies “spiders aren’t going to hurt you, in fact the world cannot live without spiders and other bugs and insects.”

Then there’s the frequent justification behind undermining and mocking phobias. “Folklore and a massive misunderstanding of their ecology and behavior. It's sadly prevalent for much of the animal kingdom and if we're being honest here, reptile people are guilty of it to (to a much lesser extent in general). I've seen people in one sentence ask why snakes are hated and express how important and misunderstood they are, then the next say how disgusting spiders are without realizing the issue with that.

I'm fine with people who don't want anything to do with snakes, but if you wish death on my pets or call them disgusting, or say "tHe OnLY gOoD sNaKe iS a dEaD oNe," you need to be called out for the shitty line of thinking. These people need to be put in their place because they are not kind, and their ideas lead to the killing of one of the most important controllers of rodents on the planet.”

”People aren't very educated and form opinions very quickly. If people can overcome their fear and touch it and not get bite, they will start re-evaluating their opinion.”

”Cultural programming, social learning, ignorance, fear, misunderstanding...

Sometimes there are cultural/religious associations. We also live in societies that, generally, portray/sensationalize snakes as dangerous/mindless/scary/bloodthirsty and capitalize on it. Then there's the fact that children learn from adults who are afraid of snakes. Then there's this final nail in the coffin that people just don't know anything about snakes/only know misinformation etc. So suddenly all they hear is 'python' and assume your ball python is clearly going to grow up and eat alligators in the Everglades.

Seriously---the amount of times I've been told "well I heard that they lay beside you at night to measure if they can eat you!" is ridiculous.

I got my first snake (a ball python) coming up on a decade ago now. I was living with my ex and his family at the time. When their mom found out about the snake she freaked out and started screaming he had to be gotten rid of. I was a stubborn asshole and wouldn't rehome him. Weeks later out of the blue she legitimately asked me how I wasn't afraid because didn't I know he'd 'spit poison at me', eat me when he was big enough and said he must feel gross because he's slimy. She also didn't understand why he needed a heat lamp.

I realized she literally thought I had some sort of venemous spitting cobra that would grow up to be able to eat pigs and was slimy like a slug. She knew literally nothing about snakes in general either.”

”Phobias are about flawed expectations. You think the object of your fear can cause you harm when it is unreasonable to think so. If you had had enough experience with said object, you would have realized that your expectations were wrong and corrected them.

When we treat phobias, we expose people for what their fear. The most efficient technique is called "flooding". If you have a fear of spiders, throwing a bunch of spiders in your lap works wonders.

Because you get used to it. And realize you're not dying.

If you've never jumped out of an airplane, you probably would be afraid to do so. If you'd done so a lot of times, you could fall towards the Earth and be bored while falling.

The only reason flooding isn't used all that much is that patients don't come back after the first session. It only takes a couple of sessions, but it's intense at first. So "systematic desensitization" is preferred. It's gradual exposure.

In fact, if you've had traumatic experiences with certain objects or situations, you're less likely to have a phobia related to said objects/situations than someone lacking experience. Because they know better what to expect.”

”I can't stand irrational screaming at the slightest tiny thing. A lot of fears developed by young children/adolescent are due to mirroring their parents and are irrational. Usually mother acting like moron if sight of a bee (inoffensive if you're not trying to slap it) or needles or dentists, children will copy that and then it's a pain in the ass for everyone.”

”Using your fears to make everyone cater to you is selfish and inconsiderate. If you aren't willing to face your fears and acknowledge logic, you should work on those issues alone”

First of all, to all the people saying of this: Congratulations! You’re a normal person who’s free of whatever specific phobias others may have. However, that doesn’t give you the right to mock those who DO have them. What’s worse is that calling them “uneducated”, “irrational”, “selfish”, “ignorant”, “socially-driven”, “know-nothing”, etc. only makes them hate you.

Now I know what you’re thinking, “men have phobias too, and theirs also undermined and mocked”. That’s true, but this is more likely to occur with women since we’re often seen as “lesser” compared to men. Another disclaimer: fears of same-sex couples and transgender individuals are not true fears as most homophobes and transphobes aren’t “afraid” of them, they just truly hate them and want an excuse to discriminate them.

Now with that out of the way, it’s just ridiculous how people are willing to mock and complain about others’ phobias saying they’re “irrational” or “annoying”. Say someone says “I hate women who scream all the time over a spider and acting stupid about it because of their high pitched screams”. Wow, you have misophonia yet you hate women who have a normal reaction when they’re afraid of something, doesn’t that make you a hypocrite, Bradley?

It doesn’t matter if you think a fear is “irrational”. It may be irrational to you, but to us, a fear is still a fear. When we encounter a fear, our brains will gear up on “fight-or-flight” mode, our blood pressure will rise, our bodies will flail and shake. That’s how we operate.

I also get tired of hearing things like this, specifically regarding the r/thanksimcured subreddit:

”This post perfectly encapsulates the one thing I dislike about this sub... People acting like ALL advice is bad/stupid/ignorant, even when it is the literal cure to someone's ailment. This comic is depicting exposure therapy, an evidence based practice for dealing with phobias, and OP is like lOoK aT THiS dUmB IDioT.”

”What other option do you have? Confront the fear irrationally? Drink more water to get over your fear of public speaking. 😂”

Stop with the “advice” bullshit and act like it’s helpful. People with phobias are aware their fears are irrational, but you getting mad that being told you’re being unhelpful and you assuming they don’t want ANY advice is just you talking out of your ass. You are what we would call a typical high school bully, an asshole who deliberately mocks and picks on kids who are “weaker” than they are.

How would you feel if someone mocked you for a fear you had? Just because you “got over” a specific fear you have doesn’t mean they have to do the same. If they don’t want to torture themselves with what they fear, don’t make them.