When Giving Up Looks Like Coping - Understanding the Quiet Crisis of the Human Spirit

Introduction

Ambassador Maryben Omollo—an internationally recognised mental health and leadership coach, 17-time award-winning speaker, and founder of the Maryben Foundation—has long been a voice for emotional resilience and psychological well-being. With a global reach of over 50 million and a mission to build resilient and inclusive workplaces across Africa, Omollo continues to challenge the way society views mental health, burnout, and the silent struggles people carry. In one of her most poignant reflections, she explores the many subtle, often invisible ways people give up—not in dramatic gestures, but in quiet, everyday choices that signal emotional fatigue, disillusionment, and despair. Her message is a compassionate call to awareness, empathy, and hope.

The Many Faces of Giving Up

Omollo begins by dismantling the myth that giving up always looks like quitting. In reality, surrender often wears the mask of functionality. People may still show up to work, smile in public, and fulfil their obligations, all while slowly disconnecting from themselves and the world around them.

“Everyone has their own way of giving up.”

Some people stop dressing well. Others lose interest in things they once loved. Some drop out of school, neglect their posture, or listen to sad music on repeat. These are not just habits—they are symptoms of a deeper emotional withdrawal. Others stop taking photos, stop believing in love, or stop dreaming out loud. They may laugh too loudly to drown out the silence inside. They may stay in jobs or relationships that drain them, not because they’re content, but because numbness feels safer than hope.

The Illusion of Functioning

One of the most powerful insights in Omollo’s message is the idea that giving up can look like coping—and sometimes, it looks exactly like functioning.

“Many die at 25 but are buried at 70.”

This haunting line speaks to the emotional death that can occur long before physical death. It’s the slow erosion of joy, purpose, and connection. People may continue to move through life, but without truly living. They may be physically present but emotionally absent. This form of quiet surrender is often overlooked because it doesn’t disrupt routines. It doesn’t scream for help. But it is no less real—and no less dangerous.

The Role of Purpose and Meaning

Omollo also touches on the importance of having meaningful goals. She observes that people without purpose often become consumed by drama or distractions. Without a sense of direction, life can feel hollow, leading individuals to focus on trivial matters as a way to avoid deeper pain.

“Some never stop moving just so they don’t have to sit with themselves.”

This insight reveals how busyness can become a form of avoidance. Constant motion can mask emotional stagnation. People may fill their calendars to avoid confronting the emptiness they feel inside. Purpose, then, is not just a motivational concept—it is a psychological anchor. It gives people a reason to rise, to try, and to hope.

A Message of Compassion and Hope

Omollo’s message is not one of judgment—it is one of deep compassion. She acknowledges the quiet suffering that so many endure and offers a gentle reminder:

“To anyone who has given up or is about to, hold on to that little faith.”

This is a call to those who feel invisible, exhausted, or numb. It is a reminder that even the smallest spark of hope can be enough to begin again. That healing is possible. That life, even in its darkest moments, still holds the potential for light.

Lessons for Mental Health and Leadership

Omollo’s reflection offers several critical lessons for individuals, communities, and leaders:

1. Mental Health Is Not Always Visible - People can appear fine on the outside while struggling deeply on the inside. Leaders, friends, and family members must learn to look beyond appearances and create safe spaces for honest conversations.
2. Functioning Is Not the Same as Thriving - Just because someone is meeting deadlines or showing up doesn’t mean they’re okay. True well-being involves emotional, psychological, and spiritual health—not just productivity.
3. Purpose Is Protective - Having a sense of meaning can buffer against despair. Encouraging people to pursue goals, passions, and connections can be a powerful form of prevention and healing.
4. Compassion Saves Lives - Sometimes, all someone needs is to be seen, heard, and reminded that they matter. A kind word, a listening ear, or a simple gesture of care can make all the difference.

Reflection

Ambassador Maryben Omollo’s message is a profound meditation on the quiet ways people give up—and the even quieter ways they can begin to heal. Her words challenge us to look more closely at ourselves and those around us. To recognise that coping is not always thriving. That silence can be a cry for help. And that hope, even when fragile, is still powerful. In a world that often rewards performance over presence, Omollo’s voice is a reminder to slow down, to check in, and to hold space for the full spectrum of human experience. Her message is not just about mental health—it is about humanity.

Lesson to Learn

Giving up doesn’t always look like quitting. Sometimes, it looks like surviving. Sometimes, it looks like smiling through pain. And sometimes, it looks like doing everything right while feeling everything wrong. Be kind. Be present. And if you’re the one barely holding on—know that your story isn’t over. Hold on to that little faith. It might be the beginning of your return to life.