ZIMBABWE: Becoming the Mother I Wished I Had

After a childhood marked by poverty and absent parents, Mable describes her decision to leave an abusive relationship and build a peaceful home for her children.

"I packed my belongings, left the abusive relationship, and started over with nothing but hope. It was not easy, but I knew my children deserved a peaceful home.”

My name is Mable. I was born in 1998 at Gwanda Hospital. I grew up in Danangombe Village, Zimbabwe, where I attended Danangombe Primary School from Grade 1 to Grade 7.

When I was about two years old, I went to live with my grandmother, who raised me. Life was not easy. Every day I walked many kilometres to school without shoes. I still remember that my first pair of school shoes came when I was in Grade 5. That was also the first time I had my own school uniform. Before then, I simply went to school with whatever I had because education meant everything to me.

After Grade 7, I went to Vukwe Secondary School for Form 1 and part of Form 2. The school was also very far from home, and I continued walking long distances every day. Later, I transferred to Matabo Secondary School, where I completed my O-Level studies. At Matabo, I stayed with my grandmother's younger sister. The school was just across the road, making life a little easier.

Although I knew I had both a mother and a father, they were never really part of my life. They were not there physically, emotionally, or financially. We struggled to afford school uniforms, stationery, and basic necessities. My first secondary school uniform was my older sister's old uniform. When I transferred to Matabo, I continued wearing the same oversized uniform because it was all I had.

As a child, I accepted my situation because I did not know any different. Looking back now, I understand that a parent does not only provide money. Even when parents work far from home, they can still be present by calling, visiting, encouraging their children, buying school supplies, and showing love. Unfortunately, I did not experience that kind of support.

After completing Form 4, I went to stay with my mother's younger sister in Colleen Bawn. While I was there, my life changed for the worse. Someone I trusted took advantage of me, and I became pregnant. I was just 18 years old.

When the time came to give birth, I had almost nothing. I had no baby clothes, no nappies, and no supplies. One of my cousins kindly gave me two baby rompers and a towel to wrap my baby. I remember tearing one of my wrappers (a length of cloth worn around the body) into pieces to make nappies because I could not afford disposable ones. Those were some of the hardest days of my life.

Sometimes I look back and wonder how I survived those moments. I was young, scared, and had nowhere to turn. The only explanation I have is that God carried me through when I could not carry myself.

After giving birth, I returned home, but I knew I had to provide for my child. I made the difficult decision to leave my baby behind with family while I travelled to South Africa in search of work. Every sacrifice I made was for my child.

While in South Africa, I entered another relationship, and together we had two beautiful boys. Sadly, the relationship became abusive. The abuse was emotional, physical, and psychological. Because of my difficult childhood, I tried to endure it, believing that staying together was the best thing for the children.

However, I eventually realized that my oldest son was suffering because of what he witnessed at home. His school performance dropped dramatically. He even struggled to remember things he had previously learned, and reading became very difficult for him. Seeing the impact that the abuse was having on my children broke my heart. I carried a great deal of guilt because I felt they were suffering because of my circumstances.

That was the moment I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I packed my belongings, left the abusive relationship, and started over with nothing but hope. It was not easy, but I knew my children deserved a peaceful home.

Since then, I have worked wherever I could. I have taken different jobs just to provide for my children. I have worked in hospitality, construction, and many other fields. I have sold goods, accepted temporary work, and never stopped looking for opportunities. My goal has always been the same: to give my children the life I never had.

I also realized that education could change my future. I completed a qualification in construction management, followed by project management, and later a qualification in supervision. Every certificate represents determination, sacrifice, and the belief that my future could be different from my past.

After obtaining my certificates, I secured a job and purchased a plot of land in Colleen Bawn, Zimbabwe. I plan to build a six-bedroom guest house, with each room having its own bathroom, to create a sustainable source of income and support my children through college. Although my employment is currently uncertain and I am still seeking funding to complete the guest house, I remain determined to achieve this goal.

The greatest lesson my life has taught me is that pain does not have to define your future. I learned the importance of working hard, saving money, investing in education, and never giving up. Most importantly, I learned to be the kind of mother I wished I had. I make sure my children know that I love them. I am there for them emotionally as well as physically because I know what it feels like to grow up without that support.

My journey has been filled with poverty, rejection, abuse, heartbreak, and many struggles. But it has also been filled with faith, perseverance, courage, and hope. Every challenge has shaped the woman I am today.

My story is more than survival: it is a refusal to let my past determine my future. I continue to dream, to work hard, and to build a better life for my children and for myself. I believe that with God, determination, and perseverance, every difficult chapter can become the beginning of a better story.

STORY AWARDS

This story was published as part of World Pulse's Story Awards program. We believe every woman has a story to share, and that the world will be a better place when women are heard.